


Ben's Second Chance

by Ggeri_Sminth



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Ben&Poe bromance, Cannon Violence, Discussions of abuse, Dom Kylo/Ben, I de-aged hux so he’s around the same age as Kylo/Ben, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Minor Character Death, Rape/Non-con - Freeform, Soulmates, Spanking Mentioned, Stormpilot, Sub Hux, abuse (via Hux and his dad), discussions of rape, redemption arch, slight BDSM, soul marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:28:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28525482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ggeri_Sminth/pseuds/Ggeri_Sminth
Summary: After kissing Rey and giving her his life Force Ben is sure that he is going to die. He is already wounded and keeping her alive can only be done by doing this one thing. Except that isn’t what happens, he closes his eyes drawing his last breath only to awake once more as a fourteen-year-old boy living in his hut training with Uncle Luke. Snoke is still in his mind tempting him to the dark side, but he can remember everything. His soulmate mark that had scared over when he turned to the dark side has returned. It is burning and itching as it awakens. Is this a fever dream or could Ben fix everything, save Armitage from himself, keep the republic from being destroyed? Find Rey before Snoke and even set the troopers free? Has the Force given him a second chance to fix everything?
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38
Collections: Kylux Big Bang 2020





	Ben's Second Chance

**Author's Note:**

> This is long... I'm sorry now the ending might seem a little rushed I am so sorry about that. >,<

The one thing that anyone that has any sort of connection to the Force knows that it works in mysterious ways and that it can be very, very annoying. The kiss that Rey received was not an 'I love you' sort of kiss. It was more of a 'this then ends, I'm glad you are the one to survive' sort of kiss. Ben had always known that he was attracted to men. His first hint was Poe. The man had always stirred Bens loins later because Kylo was Armitage, but it was never meant to be. Armitage hated him, and they had always been pitted against each other. It never would come to be beside the fact that Kylo did not have a soul mate. Ben did, but Kylo did not.

Really when Ben kissed Rey, he expected to die, to fall into an endless sleep, to never open his eyes again. It was quite a surprise that one second, he was on a planet hell-bent on collapsing and then next in a hobbit-hole, his hut when he was a youngling. Ben could not help but let out a sigh of frustration. How was it that this was his afterlife? Would he have to live the worst times of his life over and over again? That was not something he wanted to do. As he pondered how he would get over this frustration, a sharp pain lit his hip on fire.

**[insert picture here]**

Across the galaxy, another boy just a year younger than Ben awoke to a burning pain on his arm. His soul mark coming in, burning, and forming along with Ben's. From the crook of his elbow to the bottom of his wrist, a swirl of pain that would have made him pass out if he were not so used to the pain. A strange-looking cross guard for a sword began to sketch itself into his arm. Words appeared below it swirling in a beautiful script, "Mine to Love and Protect." The ink is shiny silver, not a single black line to be seen. It reflected in the light as he moved his arm, twisting it left and right. The mark did not do much for him, and he did not quite know what exactly it represented, just that maybe his mate was some sort of sword enthusiastic. The boy did not know and did not care. This mark meant that there was someone out there that loved him. Little did he know that his mark would anger his father, and he soon would come to resent the mark and the person destined to love him unconditionally.

The boy would soon begin to go about his day just as Ben would, each going to a life that they did not belong to but was bestowed by fate itself. Ben could not help but rub the mark on his hip. He could remember this moment clearly, the moment that his soul mark had come. At the time, he had been so happy to see it. Someone loves him so unconditionally. Of course, that happiness did not last for long. The Jedi were not to have attachments. They did not have soulmates. If a mark came in, the Jedi believe that this person was a destined friend, not a lover. They shunned this the most, and though Ben knew of Jedi that had left that thought process behind, Luke was not one of them. Ben suspected it was because Luke himself never got a soul mark. His body is pure and unblemished. As Ben's soul mark finished, he could not help but lift his shirt. He does not remember what it looked like, it had not lasted long, and he shunned it as soon as Luke had informed him of the Jedi way.

Ben had been devastated by the choice that he would have to make, to become a Jedi, and shun the person that was supposed to love him, and he loves them. To not fulfill the soul mark claim, or he could turn his back on the Jedi and follow his heart and find his soulmate, maybe even letting the Force guide him. In the end, he chose the Jedi. He did not want to give up the one thing that he thought he belonged to. Ben chuckled humorously. That had not been the case.

As Kylo, he could remember that once he had a mark, the pain brought in and the pain when it scared over. But he could not remember it. Looking at it now, Ben wondered why the dark ink had swirled around, turning into a beautiful illustration. A beautiful Vulptices sat upon his hip, looking sad and dejected. Its muzzle was a red-orange, and so was the tip of its tail. Almost as if they had been dipped in blood. He could see the shimmering of the crystal reflecting in the light. But what caught his attention the most was the eyes, so blue and deep, so hollow as if there is no life left in them. Why had he not given up the Jedi to find this person? They were broken and frightened, and yet he never tried. Never went after them.

Not this time, he would look for them. He was not going to let them fade or die. He decides right then and there that with this second chance, he will find them and protect them. He is going to change their fate. He nodes his head, making a promise, swearing to the Force that he would never abandon his soulmate again. It is silly of him, though, to wish that Armitage is his mate. He wants to save the man as well. He knows that the other's life was not the greatest. Bad things had happened to him to make him the man that he became. Kylo had not liked the Generals personality, but he had lusted after him. This time, Ben would have to get to Armitage before he became the man that he did.

If he could save him, turn him to the path of light, then maybe he could stop the countless unnecessary deaths that were sure to come if he did not. Ben felt the Force hum around him as if telling him that this is why he is here. Not for his soulmate, but to save all those lives that were lost. This is his penance, in a way. If he lingered on that thought, he could still feel all the lives that blinked out in the Force when Starkiller had been fired. It had taken his breath away, and not in a good way. He remembers his lungs seizing up and just silence. It was so deafening. Ben could not allow that to happen again.

He was going to stop, stop all the violence, and protect the people that he had failed, his mother, his father, Luke, the younglings, and even Armitage. Ben supposed that in a way, it all fell on Armitage, and a dark and greedy part of him cackled when he realized that he could not turn Armitage to the light, then he would have to kill him. He could not allow him to create Starkiller, and that hurt more than anything. He may not be able to save him. Instead, he might be the one to bring about his death.

After all, he had been the bringer of death, which is to say that he still is not. He does not mind killing to get what he wants or well if it helps restore the peace. He knows that this is not the Jedi way, and maybe that had even attributed to his parents being afraid of him. He has been aggressive, and his mother believed that Luke could meditate that out of him. Yeah, that did so much good. In the end, their fear had led him to the dark side, had allowed Snoke to get a grip on him. To turn him far easier than it would have been if he had not been feared by everyone around him. Now that he thought about it, he could feel Snoke in the back of his mind tempting him to the darkness. Telling him how it would be better with him. He would love and protect him.

Lies, all Lies, Snoke had fed off of him, draining his power to keep him in line. To make sure that he never overthrew him. Ben sneers at the beast in his mind and slams up shields within his mind. If he can force his mother out of his head, he can force Snoke too. He is older and wiser, or well was. His ability to make shields has since improved since he was a child. Snoke would not get him this time. This was not the afterlife. This was a second chance, and Ben was not going to mess it up. The only problem, he was bloody fourteen again.

Having just hit a growth spurt, his body was all out of whack. He is bony and lanky, his hands and feet are too big, his ears do not seem to fit with the rest of his body. Had he even lived through the humiliation of this? As Ben tries to move towards the door of his hut, he falls over. His feet do not want to cooperate with him. It would be several years before he began to bulk up again, and that in itself frustrated him. He did not know how he was going to do what he needed to do. To move around properly. Really why this body could not have placed him a few years further forward. The room around him began to shake, and Ben began to take some deep breaths to calm himself down. As his breaths become, even the room stops shaking.

It was a stupid thing to be angry about. There is not anything that he can do about it. Best to just pick himself up and move on. It takes Ben several tries and lots of deep breathing before he can stumble out of his hut. He is still having a bit of trouble, but he will re-learn how to survive in this body with practice and patience. He will adapt. Once he is outside, he takes a moment to get used to his surroundings again. Younglings practice their forms all around him. Some of them are even trying to meditate. It is early morning, and they will not begin training until a little later. The peace of it all is interrupted as he begins to make his way through them. They all stumble back away from him. They all avoid looking him in the eyes. They are afraid of him, and for a good reason, Ben thought. He killed all of them, and he did not get along with any of them at this age.

He did not think that was going to change, he could be nice to all of them, and they would not understand. Ben suspects that they will find it forced and not genuine at all. Part of him wished that maybe one of them would have given him a chance. He had not always been rude to them, but he started to do the same back when they started to avoid him and treat him like scum. He had always been far more forceful when he practiced, brute strength, and so much power in the Force that he did not always know quite what to do with it. Would he have let Snoke take root if he had actual friends? People like that understood him, Ben is not sure. Ben shakes his head; it does not matter now. What matters is the here and now, the new life he is going to live, and how he will make things better.

It does not take him that long to find Luke's signature in the Force. He follows it dolefully, making his way slowly. By now, he is no longer stumbling and has finally gotten used to his legs again. It takes him a bit to make his way to where Luke is sitting, yet he still does not know what he will say to him. There are a few younglings all talking to Luke. He does not butt in as he would have in the past. Instead, he stands a bit back and waits. It does not matter though, the moment that the younglings sense him, they all scatter. Ben tries not to scowl at the way they act. He had given them room, and yet, and yet this is how they have always acted. No matter what he would do.

As Luke looked over at Ben with a disappointed sigh, Ben almost felt a need to defend himself, but he did not open to do so. Instead, he scowled a little and then adjusted his face into a neutral expression. He did not want to be an open book. He needed to keep some things behind closed doors, one being that his one uncle would be disappointed in him when he had not done anything. The mask, Ben thinks, had been a good idea. It hid his youthful face and the emotions that would slide across it without his consent, but he did not have one now, and maybe that was even a good thing.

"Ben, it's good to see you this morning. How are you feeling?"

Ben hums slightly before moving to sit down in front of his uncle, "I am well, it is nice to see you as well."

These pleasantries are not normal, Ben knows this, but he cannot and will not turn back into the angry child that he once was. Bens' voice cracks as he begins to speak again. He huffs in frustration before continuing, "I need to speak to you."

Luke nodded his head. There was a soft smile on his lips. Ben had not ever gone to his uncle for anything, and he did not like talking to him about personal things. Ben can see the joy in his uncle's eyes when Ben is coming to him. He is not going to like what comes next, though. He is sure that Luke's smile will slide off his face quickly. It was the first time, even though the conversation had been about something completely different.

He had been happy and bouncy when he told his uncle about his soul mark. His uncle had not been pleased. Now though it would not matter, his uncle did not need to know about the mark. This conversation would be about Snoke. They needed to get it all out in the air. They had to talk about this. Ben decided that it would be best to be blunt about it, no need to beat around the bush with everything.

"It's about Snoke."

Ben had been right. The smile slipped off of Luke's face immediately, "Snoke?"

It was not a statement. It was a question that frustrated Ben. Luke should not play dumb with him. Did Luke want his nephew to slip into the darkness that haunts him? "There is no need to play coy with me, uncle. It truly does not suit someone who is supposed to be so wise. I know you know who haunts my dreams. So, I say again, we need to talk."

Luke's lips begin to drip into a frown, not one of disappointment, but concern. He shakes his head a little before taking a deep breath.

"I see… I hadn't realized that you understood that there was someone dark and dangerous out there messing with your mind."

"I didn't, but the Force has granted me a second chance, and I am not going to allow Snoke to fuck that up for me."

"Ben, do not use such vulgar language."

Ben just rolls his eyes. There is amusement in that action. The fact that his uncle has decided to focus on that instead of what the real issue is. But before Ben can open his mouth and get Luke back on track, Luke continues. "Now, what is this about getting a second chance."

Ben takes a deep breath; this was going to be a long story, and he would need to keep his temper intact when telling parts of this story. So, he begins at the beginning, the beginning of the change. He tells Luke about when he had accepted Snoke. How Luke himself is what broke the camel's back. That he had tried to kill him, that Ben had been so afraid, and that fear had turned to hate. Luke frowned through it all but had the decency to at least look a little guilty. Almost as if he had been thinking about doing something like what Ben had described but had not decided on that decision yet.

Then Ben moved on to how he had killed all the younglings reminiscent of Anakin in his attempt to be more like his Grandfather. He moves on then to his training with Snoke, all the pain and hurt he went through and how his anger and pain fueled him and made him more and more powerful. Or that is what he thought was going on. Looking back on it, he had not been getting more powerful, he had been getting better and started to have more control in a sense, but in a way, his power and connection to the Force had weakened. Ben does not allow Luke to interrupt him when he feels the need to try and tell Ben that going to the dark side would never give him more power. Ben does not need to be told this; he knows why his power began to diminish. Snoke was siphoning it, and he told Luke such.

The man looks at his disbelief, but Ben does not care. He continues with his story, how he met the Knights of Ren. A group of force-sensitive users did not have enough power to be considered Sith or Jedi but could easily do some damage. He trained with them and even became one of them, taking on his new name Kylo Ren. When the old master died, all the Knight competed for the right to be the new master. Ben had won, and Kylo Ren became the new master of the Knights of Ren. At the time, it had seemed like such a great honor. To be not only the apprentice of Snoke but the leader and master of several force sensitives.

In his mind, he had been living the good life, and that was all that mattered. At this time, Snoke had deemed him trained enough to go out on missions and made his co-commander of a ship within the First Order. The Finalizer, the ship had truly been a beauty, but Kylo had not been focused on that. Instead, he had been more interested in the power he would get from commanding a ship and the people who went along with the said ship.

This was when he met General Armitage Hux. The youngest General in the First Order. He was said to be ruthless and deadly. Ben hums at the thought. The first thing that had gone through his mind at meeting him was how pretty he was. That does not last long, though, because the rumors were true. The man was ruthless and deadly and a fucking dick. Kylo hated him immediately. Why should he want to have anything to do with this man? Their animosity just grew from there. Snoke pitted them against each other to the point that they were so busy fighting each other that they did not even notice how much he was using them for his gain. He used Kylo to look for Luke. Snoke wanted the Jedi out of the way no matter what.

It did not matter the cost, and Snoke would do everything to make sure that Kylo understood this. Punishments frequently came when a lead fell short, and he was lost again. After years of searching, it finally started to come together. Kylo found half the map and with it the resistance pilot Poe Dameron. That was when things all started to go wrong. Poe then, the stormtrooper, then the girl. Ben explained that her name was Rey, and she was a lost Force user that Kylo sought to train. Nothing went as planned. Nothing ever did. They lost not only the girl but the map and the Pilot. But things would be looking up as General Hux finished his life's work, Starkiller Base. It was more than the death star would ever be. It did not destroy planets, no it destroyed entire solar systems.

Ben smiled slightly; things did not go right for that either. They had destroyed a whole solar system, but the satisfaction did not last long when the Resistance blew up the planet. On that fateful day, Ben died completely as Kylo killed Han. He was wounded by Chewbacca and then fought both the young stormtrooper as well as Rey. He lost something that he would pay dearly for when Snoke got ahold of him. But Kylo had not been thinking about that. Instead, he had been thinking about how he would die on the planet as it collapsed. The only reason that he did not die that day is because Snoke saw it fit that the young General retrieve him.

Ben does not know why General Hux did not just leave him. Tell Snoke that he could not find him in time. Or maybe Snoke had hoped that they would both die. That he would just start over. It did not matter, though, because they both survived, and they were both punished for their failures. Yet their rivalry still stood, and they began to hate each other even more. One thing led to another, and General Hux was able to redeem himself by finding a way to track the rest of the Resistance in hopes of destroying them.

They made their last stand on Crait. That was something that he would never forget. He would also never forget the events that led up to it, either. The death of his master, then the betrayal of someone he thought he could trust, and then finally the claiming of the First Order. General Hux had tried to stop him, but he did not allow it. He would not let anything stop him. The surge of power that rushed through him as Snoke died was so great, and yet the girl had still taken him by surprise. Now looking back, Ben can see that he should not have been surprised. He should not have, and yet at the time, the betrayal stung deep and hard.

Ben has to stop there; the next part of his story burns in his mind, but he is not sure if he can finish saying anymore. Luke looks uncomfortable and sad, "A Force vision, a future that could come to pass."

Ben wants to argue with him, that no, this is a future that did come to pass. That Luke had died and thought the Resistance would eventually win, at what cost would it come to. So many lives were lost. He would fix that this time though. He could not allow all of that to happen. The loss of life was just too great.

"I can't allow it to come to pass again."

Luke nods his head, "The Force has given you this gift. If what you say is true that this could happen, then you need to eliminate the bringer of death. You are going to have to kill this young General. He can't create this _'Starkiller Base'_ "

Ben almost choked right then and there. He could not just tell Luke that he had no plan to kill Armitage unless he absolutely had to.

"It is your duty as a Jedi Ben to follow the path that the Force has set you upon. To stop the war from happening. I will do my best to train you for what the Force has in mind."

Ben does not say anything to that. He just nods his head. He cannot bring up anything else, and he will not tell his uncle that he will leave as soon as he can. He cannot stay here; it feels wrong, and something is calling to him. An itch that he needs to scratch. Maybe that would be connected to his soul mark his connection to his soulmate. It did not matter. What mattered was getting there.

Ben knew though that it would take years before he would exit puberty enough to even try to fight Snoke, let alone retrieve Armitage from the clutches of the First Order. He just prayed that he will not be too late when he can, that he will be able to save the man. He does not want to kill him. He is selfish, he knows, not wanting to take the one life that could end everything before it begins.

* * *

The years passed quickly, maybe even too quickly. Ben really could not tell he kept himself busy. He built his bulk back up and practiced with a makeshift sword to not lose his hard-earned abilities over the years. He would still stumble and fall, but he got back up, and as time went on, he grew closer and closer to the person, physically, that he used to be.

Some of the younglings started to stop avoiding him. Some even went out of their way to try and have civil conversations with him. It soon became apparent that he had a better hold on his temper and maybe was not someone who needed to be feared. It made Bens' heart sore with joy. The thought of being accepted never had crossed his mind. Why would it? There were many out there that would never trust him. Yet here he was, finally, closer to peace than he ever thought possible. Ben supposes that is due to the amount of time he spends meditating. It gets to the point that he does not have to do breathing exercises to keep himself calm.

He needed to keep Snoke out of his mind and search for his soul mate, and meditating was a good way to do that. Finding his soulmate had not gone the way that he had hoped it would. He could not seem to sense the other. Maybe it was because he had never met them before. It did not help that his mind would always seek out and find Armitage. Though the man is a Force null, he is annoyingly easy to find. It annoyed him to no end. He knew where the boy was. He had been keeping tabs on him through the First Order database.

Luke would be devastated to know this, not because he was spying on someone, not really, but because of how he is doing it. Getting a datapad into his hut had to be the easiest thing that Ben had ever done. Ben is surprised that none of the over padawans have datapad. Years earlier, he slipped it off his father's ship when Han had come to visit him. He would have later used this to find a way off the planet after killing all the younglings. Though as sad as that may be, it did serve its purpose now, hacking into the First Order data banks. Really these people need better security. Ben swore a six-year-old could get into it. How is it that these people almost took over the entire galaxy?

Finding Armitage's records had not been that difficult once he was in, but it took a lot of reading and searching, and Armitage was not the first one that Ben found. He should have known that. Even if he did not have one, Armitage would have a father while Ben knew him as Kylo.

Brendal Hux's record is clean and collected, and Ben could tell that he hailed from the old days, the days of the Empire. Ben is not all that surprised. He has many achievements and seems to be very, very well-liked. Ben wonders what happens to him. If he is so well-liked, then why isn't he around when Kylo meets General Hux?

On the other hand, Armitage's record is not as clean as his fathers are peppered with disciplinary accusations. Some that Ben cannot be sure that Armitage would have done. The record that he sees here does not coincide with the man that he meets on the Finalizer. It also does not match the one that he saw when he was Snoke's apprentice.

He had looked into the young General, wanting to get to know the man. Find some of his weaknesses. Finding a perfect record had annoyed him to no end. Obviously, that had not been the case. Armitage Hux is a spitfire, someone that does not seem to be able to be controlled. The violations make Ben smile. If he moves against all that he is raised to know is right, maybe, there is a stronger chance of convincing him to change sides. Ben wonders who is that one that wiped Armitage's file clean, is it his father, or did Armitage do it himself? Ben bets it is Armitage that did it, maybe in a way to start fresh. He does not know and is not sure that he wants to know.

It is strange, though, that all Armitage's records do not talk of a soul mark. Ben does not know if Armitage does not have one or has been left out on purpose. Ben purposely opens up other students' records and notes that they do not have a soul mark noted either. He opens up several more and finds the same thing. There is no way that all these children do not have soul marks. The thought that the First Order would think so little of one's soulmate makes Ben sick to his stomach. All these children could have someone but are not even looking. Do they not even care?

Whatever the reasons why the file changes or why the file does not hold anything about Armitage's soul mark does not matter. Armitage's final test would be coming up within the next couple of months and is finally ready. He is sure now that he can take on whatever might get in his way. He is ready to travel across the stars to save the boy from himself. Armitage would have to complete this test to no longer be a cadet is a perfectly golden opportunity to steal the boy away without anyone being the wiser.

He would capture and remove Armitage from an ugly situation. The only thing, it is not going to be easy. Doing the right thing, Ben thinks, never is. He is going to need help and only help from someone that he can trust. Ben can only think of one person he trusts to take care of his blindside, which he trusts wholeheartedly. There is just one problem, he has not seen him since his mother sent him away to study with Uncle Luke.

* * *

Ben has a plan, well, that is not completely true. He has a semblance of a plan. Find the infamous Poe Dameron, get himself a kyber crystal, and secure a ship or some sort of transport of the planet. It is not a great plan, it is not even a complete plan, but that is for future Ben to worry about. Right now, all Ben needs to worry about is getting off the planet, to get away from his prying uncle. One step at a time.

Thankfully, the planet that the Jedi school is located on has a trade port. There is a trade port, where there is a bar, which means that there will be several unattended ships. This means that Ben just has to steal one out from under the noses of the transport ship captions. A few mind tricks should do the trick. It is getting the ship flying before someone notices that it is gone. Ben knows that he is also going to have to dump the ship as well.

Trade ships are notorious for having trackers, and Ben does not have the time to figure out where the tracker is and disable it. So, find a backwater planet with a bunch of pirates and change ships. Honestly, once he is out in deep space, he will be the issue because he has no idea where Poe is even located. In his last life, he left before Poe, and he could ever get together and hang out. His friend could be anywhere, and the issue with that is Poe, just like Armitage, is also a force null.

While Ben spent a good portion of his adult life around Armitage, he had not Poe. Ben could easily pinpoint Armitage due to spending so much time around the man. Finding him is like second nature to Ben. Poe, on the other hand, not so much. It would take some time, a lot of deep meditating and searching the holonet for anything that might have a vague connection to his friend. It would be so much easier if he could just call up his mother and ask where Poe is located. Unfortunately, that would lead to her asking questions that Ben did not want to give her answers to. That would lead her to contact Luke, and that would be even worse. Ben did not need Luke to shut him down before he could even start his mission.

Luke believed that he was clouded, but the vision and that lust swirled in his mind. A Jedi was to be without attachments. Lust is an attachment, 'it could lead to the dark side.' Ben, of course, calls bullshit on that; he has already made up his mind. He is not going to join Armitage on the dark side. Instead, he is going to save him from the dark side. His dark path. Ben knows that he sounds melodramatic, but he does not care. He has to do this. So, Luke tells him that he is clouded is wrong. Armitage deserves a second chance to get away from the evil that will shape him.

He is just a boy right now, young and confused and mailable, easy to change. Killing Armitage will be his last resort. He will only do it if there is no other way. Is that how Rey felt when she tried to save him? That killing him would be her last resort, that maybe if she tried hard enough, she could pull him back to the light. It had not worked, and Ben is sure that it never would have. It was his mother all along that tethered him to the Light. Ben's heart clenched; he would have to find Rey as well, at least he knew where she was.

He knew it was not right, making her his second priority, but millions of lives hung in the balance if he did not get to Armitage first. She would have to wait. His mind tried to search for hers. Being tethered to it for so long should have allowed him the ability to find her, but he could not. Still, he pressed thoughts through the Force to her, 'I’ll come for you, I promise.’ He would, he would get her off that damn planet and give her a better life. He just needs to get to her before Snoke finds her. If only he had thought to persuade Luke into going and getting her, then he would know that she would be safe and taken care of.

Ben shook his head. He could not think about that o get off the planet right now. Right now, He also needed a kyber crystal. Without it, he would not be able to power the saber that he built. He had made it similar to his original saber, with a hilt and everything. Ben has come to realize that he is used to the weight in his hand. It feels to have a cross guard there, though this time, he will not need openings for the access plasma to spill out of. He does make them a little longer, though, to give him better counterbalance. It almost looks like the hilt of a medieval sword. In all honesty, it is a miracle that Kylo's saber did not blow up in his face. It had been very unstable and destructive, quite like he had been.

Maybe it would be the same now as well, Ben is no longer unstable, and thus it will reflect in the saber itself. Showing truly how different of a person that he has become.

* * *

The trade port is a lot bigger than Ben realized. There happened to be more ships there than he expected. That works out for him. It is a really good thing. He is even able to find some Pirates in the cantina that he visits. The place was packed, good thing too. It might be easier for him to steal a ship and get off-planet before anyone notices.

Nope, he was wrong. Stealing a ship from a bunch of drunk pirates, stupidest idea Ben has had to date. Though it is better than stealing a transport ship, those things move so slow and are annoying to fly. Besides, he needed the ship more than they did, the fate of the whole galaxy and all that. Though being chased by a bunch of drunk pirates did put a slight wrench in his plans. It is a price that he is willing to pay, though, if it means getting himself off this damned planet. Who knew that the Force does not work all that well on someone that is not sober? It is now like Ben or Kylo ever drank. Or even tested force persuasion on someone drunk, like walking through syrup.

Thankfully, he gets a ship. Unfortunately, he has to do some fast flying. It is not hard exactly to get away from the pirates, but it is annoying. The thing with drunk pirates shooting at him and the ship that he stole is that they are drunk, so they are very unpredictable. There is only so much the Force and his father’s blood can do. As good of a pilot that he is, unpredictableness makes things one-hundred percent times harder, but after some quick thinking and a hot second of zigging and zagging away from angry pirates, he can jump to hyperspace and take a deep breath.

Ben has a vague idea of where Poe is located. Before he left, he spent some time meditating on Poe and his presence in the Force. Ben was surprised to find that the longer he meditated on it, the clearer his vision of Poe became. In his old life, he and Poe had a bond, one forged of a strong friendship due to being the only kids the same age. They spent a lot of time together before he had been shipped off to live with Luke. At the time, he had been able to pick up where Poe was no matter what. The longer he spent away from him, the thinner the bond became until it dissolved.

It looked like, though that it would not be that hard to bring that bond back. The clearer picture of Poe was proof enough. Just being able to locate him so much faster. The only issue is that Poe seemed to like to move around a lot, and it was making it harder for Ben to locate Poe, to find a singular location to pin him down at. Though Ben did notice a pattern, a planet that Poe would regularly frequent so Ben supposed that this place would be his best bet.

With all that in mind, Ben punched in the coordinates and let the computer's autopilot take over. Ben directs the ship to a planet that would one day be taken over by the First Order. He remembers it. He fought Rey there. The First Order even destroyed this planet. More people would die a pointless death, something that he had to stop. Ben did not know of any Resistance members on this planet, but he could be wrong. He did not know why Poe would be there if not for the Resistance. After all, he is the face of it, their Golden boy, or well he was when Kylo was still around. At this point, who knew.

It takes Ben a couple of days to get to the planet. He sits and meditates the whole time. He tries to reach out to Rey again, to tell her that he will come for her. That he has not forgotten her, that he is sorry that he is not his priority. But nothing happens. He does not know if he reaches her. He also focuses on Armitage’s and Poe’s force signatures. Each day they both become stronger and stronger. Ben remembers the feelings of love that he carried for Poe.

How he had been so broken when they had been separated, and Poe had not come to visit him at Luke’s. Ben does not blame Poe; he is sure that his mom made sure they did not get that much contact. They had all been afraid that he would hurt Poe. That he would tear his mind apart, after all, Ben liked to live in people’s heads, and Poe’s head had been the most interesting as a child. Ben knows now that he liked other minds because the scary voice could not follow him there. It was far safer than his mind.

When the ship finally arrives at its destination, Ben comes out of his meditation. He can feel Poe, he knows that he is one the planet's surface, but it is become muddled by the life forces of all the inhabitants on the planet. Ben swears softly, wishing that he did not feel people so strongly within the Force. To have the lives of so many people swarming around him. Why did Poe have to be on a planet that had so many people on it?

“Why, why can’t you be easier to find. Can’t choose a planet that isn’t so busy, could you?”

To doc on the planet’s surface, Ben uses the codes and papers that belong to the pirate that had once owned this ship. Everything goes off without a hitch, and no one suspects that Ben has stolen this ship and that he did not have papers. He knew that once he had landed, he was going to have to ditch the ship. It is too hot, and he knows that people are looking for it. That means he is going to have to get another one. Ben hopes that Poe has one because he will have to steal another one, and he does not want a repeat performance. This means no fancy mind tricks on a drunk pirate.

When Ben exits the ship, he notices that many suspicious people are wandering around. Ben cannot help but instinctively ducking his head as if any of these people would recognize him as the Jedi killer. He is not that in this timeline, but the worry is still there. Here he just wants to blend in and stay out of trouble. Though it would seem that in the past, trouble would always find him. Or maybe it was the other way around. He was the one that went looking for trouble. Even being the one to cause it, but not this time. He did not want any trouble; he did not want to cause any, and he sure as hell did not want to go looking for any trouble.

At this point, here on this planet, he wants to keep his nose clean. Just find Poe and get off this planet. Get away from the terrible memories that rise to the surface and the guilt he carries with him. This planet, Ben thinks, used to be a beautiful place once upon a time. Hate and greed had turned it dirty, and trashy and the First Order would destroy it. The people of Kijimi did not deserve what happened to them. Even if this place seemed to be the scum of the galaxy. Some good people still lived here, and no one deserved to die just because they would not conform.

Ben did not have a hollo of Poe, so as he began to search for his friend, he had to describe him to random strangers. Some would just walk off while others listened to him, but the answers were almost always the same. They did not know anything, which Ben knew half the time was a lie. Just because he was not reading their minds did not mean that he could not tell when someone was lying to him. Half of the people that he asked knew too much and the other nothing. He begins to get frustrated after an hour of walking in circles getting little to no information. He talks himself silly, and the urge to just force himself into one of these people’s minds and pry the information he is looking for is there. It sits at the base of his skull and pulses everything another person lies to him. He can feel himself losing the battle to hold back and not take what he needs. It becomes so bad that Ben has to leave a conversation halfway through just to stop himself.

**[insert picture here]**

Ben slumps down on a bench in a busy district. He does not watch the people rush past him going about their day. Instead, he tries to focus on his breathing and clearing his mind of the want to destroy another is just so he can get what he wants. He is not Kylo anymore, and he does not want to become him; going into another’s mind might lead him back down that path. Especially if he plans to do so forcefully, destroying the other in the process. He should only truly go into another’s mind as a last resort and usually with her permission. He is not always going to get that permission, and Ben is sure that at some point, he is going to have to do it without their permission but not today.

“Ben?”

Ben’s head snaps up at the sound of his name from a familiar voice. It does something funny to his stomach, the last time he would hear that voice… He did not follow that train of thought, instead turned his head to the source and smiled his most winning smile. As Ben looks at Poe, he notes that the boy looks rugged, almost run down. He wears the look well, but it is not the well put together Poe that Ben recalls from his last life.

“Poe”

Poe gives him a charming smile and waves his hand, “What are you doing here?”

“I am looking for you,” Ben stops before standing to hug Poe, “It’s great to see you.”

Poe rolls his eyes but hugs Ben back before moving back. He seems slightly nervous and a little twitchy. He scans the area as if looking for someone or something before turning his attention back to Ben, “You were,” he lowers his voice, “Are you here to take me back?”

“No… I came seeking your help.”

Poe continues to give Ben the look of suspicion that makes him worried. What has Poe gotten himself into that he thinks that Ben could be the enemy? Ben does not think that he is the enemy right now, but he has been wrong in the past.

“We can’t talk here. Follow me. I know somewhere private.”

Ben nods, oh, so happy to follow him to somewhere private. He does not think it is good to talk about everything they need to talk about publicly. Too many prying ears that could hear something that they should not. Then again, Poe could just be worried about what he plans to tell Ben, not what Ben wants to tell him. Something has made the man paranoid, and not in a good way, something dangerous is going on, and Ben is not sure he will be happy about what it is when he finds out. Though he has no room to judge. After all, he is the one that sold out all his training and love for the dark side.

Maybe he had a good reason, which does not give him the right to treat the people who loved him the way he did. Poe had been his best friend, and he had tortured him for information on Skywalker and the Resistance. Not something to be proud of nor is it something that he wants a repeat of.

How is he to ask Poe for help? Can he just come out and say it, _‘Poe, I need your help to kidnap a cadet from the First Order because he is crucial to the war with the resistance coming out on top.’_ Yeah, because that will not make him sound like an idiot, not without telling Poe about his past life. He is not all that sure he can do that. _‘Hey Poe, you know we are such great friends, my best friend in fact, but well in a different future, I turn out evil and torture you, and yeah… sorry about that. Still, we need to kidnap this cadet. He’s going to blow up a whole solar system if we don’t’_ because that sounds so much better.

Ben shakes his head. He could also go with less painful solutions he supposes, _‘Hey, so I need your help to save this cadet named Armitage from the First Order. I got this second chance at life and want to give him this chance too. I know that it is good. The bonus is that he is a genius, and we could use his brains to help us. Also, I know why your soulmate is.’_ Maybe not so many words. _‘Hey, you are my best friend, and I wondered if you could help me rescue this cadet from the First Order before he becomes another cog in their wheel.’_

No matter how he words it, it all sounds manipulative, and it does not give the whole story, and Ben is not sure that he wants Poe to know the whole story. And though every word that he speaks would be true, it would still not be enough. It will never be enough. Yet, in the back of his head, he knows that he will have to tell Poe the truth eventually. A relationship cannot bloom on lies, only the truth, even if the truth hurts. If he wants to bring Poe along, he will have to tell him and tell him everything. Ben just prays that this will not ruin their relationship.

He has finally gotten his friend back; he does not want to lose him again.

“Man, you look like you are constipated.”

Ben cannot help but let out a sputtering laugh. It is just like Poe to lighten the mood. “Oh yes,” Ben stars, “that is exactly what I want to hear.”

Poe gives Ben a huge smile as he turns around, walking backward, “Okay, come on, man, out with it. What is going on? Something has got to be wrong?”

“I could say the same for you, your bleeding all sorts of nervous energy and not the good kind. What have you gotten yourself into?”

“I asked first.”

“I am planning to do something stupid, like really stupid.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“Now your turn Poe, what are you doing that’s making you so fucking nervous?”

Poe finally stops, he opens a door and drags Ben in with him. It is a small looking room with just a bed. Ben is sure that this is where Poe has been staying and will probably continue to stay if he does not decide to come with him.

“I am a spice runner.”

Ben bites his lip so as not to laugh, “So what you thought I was here to bring you home or something, but come on man, if you were going to do something to rebel being a Spice Runner would not be at the top of my list.”

“Fuck you, Ben, I needed the money.”

“Alright fine, I’m sorry. It just seems, that’s a dangerous job Poe and it’s not exactly legal.”

Poe glares at him, “You don’t know anything about its Ben. I needed money and it was fast and easy. It is not like you have to worry about that. Seeing as how you are the son of a senator, and your dad. Did you forget he is a smuggler?”

Ben winces, “Yeah, okay point taken, sorry. That was stupid of me, I should not be one to judge. I’m sorry,”

Poe rubs that back of his neck, “Fuck, I didn’t mean to yell at you like that. Just I do not want people to know you know… Like it’s stupid but still.”

“I understand,” and Ben does not want people to know about his past and he hates it when people bring up his mother and father. He does not seem to live up to anyone’s standards except Poe’s because Poe did not see him as a child of heroes and Ben did not see Poe as a child of heroes. They were normal people.

“So, what’s this dangerous gig that you got planned?”

“I am planning to infiltrate the First Order.”

“Sounds like fun. Count me in.”

“Really?”

“Fuck yeah, you and me together again. The troublesome duo, ready to cause some trouble.”

“Are you sure you aren’t needed here. Or that you aren’t going to get into trouble by leaving?”

“You came here to ask me to join you and now you are worried about me leaving?”

“Poe…”

“Ben let us cause some havoc. Besides,” Poe hums as he grabs Ben's hands and pulls him towards him and sighing dreamy-like, “I have a big strong Jedi to protect me.”

Ben snickers, “Not a Jedi.”

“Psht, whatever.”

They both break apart from one another giggling, “I Poe Dameron pledge my undying loyalty to you Benjamin Organa-Solo. So, let us go fuck some shit up.”

Ben closes his eyes and wills the tears not to fall. It is so hard to hear those words coming out of Poe’s mouth. What had he ever done to deserve this trust and love? Why had not this been enough to keep him on the side of the light? He abandoned this for what? A life of misery and hate, not this time. He would uphold that trust and love and give it back tenfold.

“I haven’t even told you why we are going to the First Order.”

“Doesn’t matter. As your best friend, I have to follow you no matter where you go. Honestly, though, you know I would look good in a First Order uniform. Make my ass look good.”

Ben cackles, “Poe we aren’t deflecting to the First Order.”

“That’s a damn shame, I have quite an experience hijacking a tie fighter.”

Poe winks and Ben rolls his eyes, “course you do, and a ship what about that. Got one of those.”

“Course I do, though I can't say it’s mine.” 

* * *

Poe’s ship is not much, honestly the Millennium Falcon is a better ship, and that thing is a hunk of junk. Yet, the ship will do its purpose to get them to where they are going. They only need it for their trip to the First Order and then to Jaku to get Rey, and when they are on Jaku Ben does not care what Poe says they are getting the Falcon and ditching this ship.

Honestly, Ben is a bit irritated that his father would even let his ship be stolen, really, the fuck is wrong with him. There are so many good memories attached to the damn thing. He is even fairly sure that he was conceived on that damn hunk of junk. His father never really held much stock in things with sentimental value, that is all his mother.

Ben is broken out of his thoughts when Poe slugs him in the shoulder, huge smile on his face. “Tell me you at least know where we are going?”

Ben smirks, “Of course I do.”

Well, that was not one hundred percent true. He did know what planet they needed to get to, but where exactly Armitage is located was not something he knew. That would come when they got to the planet. The hard part really was going to be getting in undetected.

“Well then what are we waiting for, let us get this show on the road. I will get us some supplies while you get the quadrants plugged in. Shouldn’t take me too long.”

“What makes you think that I don’t have supplies?”

“Knowing you, that’s very unlikely. You probably just grabbed your stuff and left. Did not even think about what you are going to eat. You can kinda be single minded, so focused on the end goal that you forget about all the stuff in the middle.”

Ben would have to agree with that, he did tend to forget about everything in the middle, but this time, he actually pack some food. The reality is it will take a couple of weeks to get to the planet that Armitage is on, and they cannot just spend that time stopping places to get food or they will not make it on time.

“Alright you get some supplies and I’ll get my stuff. Hour tops?”

“Hour.”

* * *

Poe really is curious what all Ben had in mind when he said that he will infiltrate the First Order. They’d been slowly obtaining planets and systems but they hadn’t become a threat to the New Republic yet. Would they become a threat, did Ben sense something and knew a way to stop them or slow them down. He was not sure but he knew that he trusted Ben. Ben would never leave him astray and there was this feeling that he got, he needed to go with Ben.

Something important was going to happen, he could tell. He did not know what, but there was a reason that Ben was asking him, and he knew that he had to go no matter what. It was not hard to follow Ben either. This was an out that he was looking for. The spice runners owned his soul right now, but if he went with Ben then he would be out. They would not chase him to First Order territory, that was practically suicidal.

Is what they are about to do suicidal? No, there is one thing that Ben is not and that suicidal. He knows what he is doing. Yet Poe is curious, and that in of itself make his giddy. This is going to be an adventure that he cannot wait to go on.

* * *

By the time that Poe gets back to the ship Ben has already put in the coordinates and is ready to go. He is smiling softly at Poe who has a huge grin on his face. Poe wishes that his soul mark matched Ben’s but he knows that it doesn’t they aren’t destined to be together and as sad as that it he can live with it knowing that some are out there to complete him.

“So what’s the plan”

Ben hums, getting comfortable as they take off leaving the planet behind and all the worries that accompanied it.

“There is the cadet that I need to save from the order. He is going to do some awfully bad things if I don’t.”

“How do you know?”

Ben bites his lip, how much does he tell Poe. He can already feel the guilt sitting in his stomach, making it clench and strain. He wonders if Poe can see it on his face.

“There is something you aren’t telling me, isn’t there.”

Ben nods his head, he has to be honest with this, “There is and, and right now I’m not sure if I can tell you all of it. It hurts to talk about it honestly. I fear that things will change if I talk about it and that scares me.”

Poe understands this, if he where to tell Ben about why he became a spice runner then Ben might look at him differently and he is not sure that he could take that. To see the disgust on his friends face, is that what Ben is worried about, seeing Poe’s face twist with disgust maybe even hate?

“I can’t promise that I won’t get mad, or even see you in a different light… but what ever it is it’s eating you up. That much I can tell, you have to tell someone.”

“I have to tell you. I do, and that is what I am afraid of, but a relationship built off of lies can never last. I want this to last. So I will tell you, but give me some time. I need a little more time before I can tell you.”

Poe nods his head, “Alright tell me more about this cadet that we are going to save from the First Order.”

“His name is Armitage Hux, he is an engineer and really smart. Though I suppose that’s kinda his down fall. The fact that he is so smart.”

“Why’s that?”

“It’s his brains that gets the attention of a very unsavory person that leads to him doing some really, really bad things. That and the man ambition.”

“That’s a bad thing?”

“In this case yes.”

“Still not going to tell me how you know all this? It’s kinda hard to just take your word on it all.”

Ben ducks his head and lets out a soft sigh, then quietly, “I will, I promise.” 

* * *

The trip it is self will take about a week. For the first couple of days Ben does some more research about where Armitage will be, hacking the First Order database had been fun. He was able to learn a lot about how cadets are trained and because of that he was able to figure out what would be the best place to get Armitage. When he will be at his most vulnerable, he will be out in the open.

After a couple of days Ben cannot take the silence any longer, Poe has given him his space, but there is a rift now. The need to tell Poe has become so strong that it is starting to suffocate him. He has not quite worked up the courage to tell him, but he knows that he has too. Ben knows that even if their ruins the friendship that they have it will be worth it in a way. To get it all out in the open, to have that off his chest. To know that maybe he can make up for it now that it is over and done with.

Ben approached Poe with apprehension, this is it, he is going to tell Poe the truth the whole truth. “I’m ready now. I will tell you how I know Armitage and what is going to happen. How I know what he is going to become.”

Poe smiles at him, “I am glad that you are willing to tell me.”

Ben takes a deep breath, “It would be easier to just show you. Do you consent to allow me to enter your mind and show you?”

Poe looks thoughtful for a moment before nodding his head.

“You need to take a deep breath and relax. Let me enter your mind when you feel a slight tug do not fight against it. Allow it to happen, I will not hurt you if you do this. I don’t want to hurt you Poe.”

Poe nods his head and takes a deep breath. He lets it out slowly and then begins to relax into the chair that he is sitting in. Ben is glad that he found Poe in the ship’s galley. He had been reading a book, something that Ben had never seen before. It was a real paper book and had to be old as most books can be found on data pads.

Ben sits next to Poe and then concentrates, he’s only done a hand full of times. Well, that is not completely true. As Kylo he has done it many times, but never with someone’s consent. He is grateful that it is like riding a speeder, you never really forget how to do it. He can slip in softly, Poe’s mind is an open book, and he could see everything he holds if he genuinely wanted to, but Ben is not going to abuse that power.

Ben decides that he will not start, instead something closer and more relevant to Poe himself.

_Star killer was Armitage’s greatest achievement that he had been working most of his life towards. Kylo could feel that smugness rolling off of him as he talked to Snoke about it. Kylo could also feel the pride as well. He thought himself as the greatest General in all history of the First Order, even the Empire as archaic as it was._

_Kylo found him annoying but useful, though he was also quite beautiful Kylo knew that he could never have him. Armitage, General Hux would never allow such a thing. Though it would be quite beautiful to have him begging for release._

_During the creation of Star Killer, Snoke demands that Kylo find the location of Skywalker, Luke the last living Jedi. Kylo had already hunted down all the others, and they had all died at his hands. There were rumors that there was a map and Kylo needed to find it no matter the cost,_

_Kylo knows the person that is stalling him in finding the map to Skywalker. It is annoying a part of him wants to spare the man, the weak part of him. This was Ben’s friend, but Ben is dead and there is no need to have those feelings anymore. Though a selfish part of him wonders if he can keep him._

_Poe Dameron has only gotten sexier with age, Kylo can acknowledge that. Once he has gotten the map from the rebel scum, he is going to break him. He is going to break his mind and turn him into something that Kylo can control. I would be nice to have a pretty sex doll._

_He could tie the other up and fuck him whenever he wanted. To have someone to warm his bed, even suck him off when he did not have the time to fuck him. There where so many things that he could do to him. It brough Kylo great pleasure just thinking about it, a submissive little bitch withering and begging for his touch. Oh, and to be able to punish him just for the fun of it, turning his little ass pink even dark red. Listening to his scream and cry. It would be such a treat._

_Kylo believed that he deserved it, a reward for a job well done. Not to mention Poe Dameron is the Resistance’s golden boy. Being able to flaunt his pretty toy Infront of all of the Resistance would be icing on the cake. A naked Poe sitting at his feet, he would send it to his mother just to see feel her break. To feel the immense joy that he has taken someone so strong and put them at his feet. To only serve him._

Ben is grateful that he never got the chance to do this, to treat Poe like a sex toy. That Kylo had not raped Poe, had not been able to break him. Break not only his mind but also his body.

_Poe had escaped, with the help of the traitor FN-2187 a trooper that Kylo had a feeling there was something wrong. If only he had realized it sooner. There would not have been so many problems and he would have gotten to keep his prize. He later learned that the traitor would be named Finn by Poe and that they were soul mates, destined to be together._

Ben hums softly at that, they found each other in the end, and he honestly believes that the Force guided them to one another. That it was the mere presence of Poe that broke the cruel training and mind manipulation. The man himself set Finn free, and Ben wants to believe that he will do it again. That the mere presence of Poe will give Finn the push that he needs to break free and become the person that the Resistance needs.

When Ben is finished showing Poe all that he would need to know he pulls back. He leaves his mind and sits back. There had been confusion at first, how could any of this be true. Then came the disgust and hate. Ben was willing to rape him. To take him without his consent. Ben wanted to correct him, Kylo was willing to do such and things. Ben would never do that; he did not want Poe like that. He wanted a willing partner, and he knows now that Poe is not his willing partner.

He is never meant to be his willing partner; he had his own soul mate, and it was not Ben it is Finn the young stormtrooper that they needed to find as well. There is so much that they need to do, and though Ben did not show Poe Rey they would need to find her. Ben did not want to overpower Poe and feed him to much information at once.

He had fed him the information that the other need, and the info that he had to get off his chest. The thoughts of rape that Kylo had in his mind. When Ben finally chances looking up at Poe, he sees the disgust written fully on his face, but he had not gotten up and left him. He was still sitting there so maybe Ben would still have a chance to salvage their friendship. That thought died quickly as Poes next words are spat at him with such hatred.

“You thought about raping me. What the fuck Ben, how could you even think that way about your own friend. I thought we were friends but now I’m seeing that we truly aren’t are we.”

Ben wants to cry he really does but he can’t do that in front of Poe, “Not me… Kylo, Kylo thought of raping you. I would never have such thoughts but Kylo did and you deserve to know. I just could not sit with the guilt any longer. The things that he did to you and that he wanted to do to you.”

“You are Kylo though are you not, and by that omission you did want to rape me. Still might for all I know.”

Poe gets up to and Ben tries to reach for him, “Don’t you fucking touch me. I will finish the mission but after that we part ways. I don’t want to ever see you again.”

Ben nods his head; he knew this was going to happen. He knew and yet the words still sting and burn as Poe storm out of a galley. Ben’s eyes sting as he is left alone, and finally the tears drip down his cheeks. He lets out a horrid wail as soon as he thinks that Poe is not nearby. He had lost his oldest and longest friend, all because Kylo. Because he was willing to rape his own friend.

Little did he know Poe had not made it that far and could hear Ben weeping. It tugged at his heart, but he would not change his mind. He could not forgive Ben for this, he could not.

* * *

Ben is depressed, saddened by how Poe avoids him, does not seem to want to talk to him, it is for the best he tells himself it really is. He should not try to, after all he does not want to start a fight and he feels that he is completely cried out. Instead, he focuses on making sure that he can pinpoint exactly where Armitage is and looking for Finn. He has to find him; it is the least that he can do.

Ben searches through lots of reports looking for any sign that FN-2187 might be located while also keeping on an eye where Armitage is and making sure that they are still on course to get to him in time. He knows pretty much what is going to happen and when Armitage is going to be. Armitage was to be sent down to a planet to retrieve something he would have a group of stormtroopers at his command that he would lead to retrieve that item. There would be obstacles along the way that would make retrieving the item harder, there is always a chance that the student would not come back, and an even higher chance that the stormtroopers would not come back. The students are taught that if needed sacrifice the troopers for the end goal.

Ben knows that Armitage has a strategical mind, and that he does not like unnecessary death. He is not going to sacrifice his squad of troopers unless he has no choice. Ben does not really want to force this, but it will be the only way to get Armitage alone. If he is alone, he will be easier to snatch. Thankfully, the students are not being watched instead their instructor and the other students of their class will wait for them to return. Ben is going to make sure that Armitage does not return.

One of the problems he will encounter though is that Ben cannot use the Force, not on Armitage. He is sure that he can use it on the troopers as long as the other boy is not in eyesight. He knows how much the Jedi are hated; they are what brought the end of the Empire. The First Order is what rose from the Empires ashes. Cadets would be taught that Jedi are the enemy and should not let their guard down around them. To stop them at all costs. Ben does not want Armitage to hate him for one more thing, and he knows that Armitage will hate him.

He can do nothing to stop that, but maybe with time, things will change, and Armitage will trust him and believe in the words he tells him. It will all be worth it though if it means saving thousands and thousands of lives. Their plan is pretty sound, get rid of the stormtroopers, kidnap Armitage and then get off the planet before anyone realizes that they have kidnapped one of the cadets. Far easier said than done, but Ben is sure that they can pull it off.

Poe will be the one that is going to get them away in time, and Ben is sure that he can do it. He believes in Poe, there is no way that Poe would allow them to get caught, and he did say that they could complete this mission and then he was done. Ben knows that he will have to acquire another ship and he might have to find Finn on his own.

He knows that it will not make things better for Poe, but maybe it could make it up to him slightly. Just something that he should be allowed, he needs this. Poe deserves to be happy and Ben will do everything in his power to make sure that happens.

* * *

Ben is finally able to track Poe down, well that is a lie. He could have tracked Poe down any time that he wanted. The ship is not that big, he has been allowing Poe to avoid him, but they needed to talk about what will happen when they get to their destination.

Poe is in the galley, it might not be the best location for Ben to corner the other, but he does not really have a choice. So here they are, Poe looking like an animal caught in the path of a pod racer, paralyzed with fear or maybe it is shock, Ben is not sure.

“I know that you don’t want to talk to me, but we need to talk about what is going to happen when we get to our destination.”

Ben watches as Poe’s shoulders relax. They both sit at the table in the galley, sitting across from each other. Ben makes sure that he keeps his hands to himself and does not allow his feet to touch Poes,

“I guess you have a plan?”

“I do, and it’s going to involve some of your fancy flying.”

Poe nods his head and listens as Ben goes into detail about what he is planning. Ben keeps his tone even and calm as he goes over the details pulling up the planet and what he believes are the routes that the First Order cadets are taking.

“I will have to get him while he is on mission. There will be several troopers with him, but I do not think they will be an issue. I have a feeling that getting away without anyone noticing that he is gone is going to be more of an issue.”

“I think that it shouldn’t be too hard to slip in through here,” Poe points to a small hole in the security, “Then we can land over here. You will have to hike a bit to get to him, but that way we are fully covered.”

Ben nods his head, “Agreed.”

Poe takes another look at the information before nodding his head and getting up. He is not ready to be alone in the room with Ben for long periods. He wonders if he will ever be okay with it. His mind spits at him that Ben maybe his friend but he had thought of Raping him, another part of his mind reminds him that it was not Ben who was planning this but Kylo. That this is an excessively big difference, and could he really stay angry let alone weary of someone who clearly has no thoughts like that now? Poe does not know.

* * *

When they arrive at their destination Poe flies them through the security gap while Ben keeps an eye out to see if they have been spotted. They have not and it is nice to see one of his plans actually go smoothly. Ben does not want to think too hard about that though, he does not want something to happen to actually make it that the plan goes tits up.

Poe sets them down quite a way away from where Ben will need to go to intercept Armitage. He finds himself nervous at the prospect of finally completing a goal that he has had set for several years now. Ben had not accounted for the moment he steps foot on the planet’s surface he feels a dread and darkness slam into him.

The air reaches of death even though there is not a single dead body around. He stumbles and tries to grip the side of the ship. He needs to center himself, as all he can feel is the cold darkness of death and destruction in the air, it vibrates the Force and makes him nauseous. The darkness tries to seep into him, and if he had still been Kylo it would have worked, he would have reveled in the feeling. Being so surrounded by a force so powerful that even Snoke would envy it. But Ben is not Kylo, so he fights the feelings off.

He has to keep a clear head, and most of all he needs to center himself. The Death and Destruction maybe weighing him down, but he is not going to abandon his quest. The Force is with him, it wants him to save Armitage, and he is going to. This darkness is not going to stop him.

After he’s taken several minutes to calm down and get a good grip on himself, he makes his way towards where he is going to kidnap Armitage. It is slow going and Ben is not even sure if he will make it in time. His mind is being bombarded with darkness and death. It is like walking through a desert of death. There is nothing but death no matter where you turn. Nothing you do allows you to escape it, it is blinding and deafening.

Yet Ben carries on, he keeps moving forwards, praying for that breath of fresh air that he knew he will not get until Ben’s returned to the ship with Armitage in toe. Until they have lifted off this God forsaken planet, a planet that should never have been disturbed. He was walking on an open and ancient grave site, and it made him sick. The dead should be left to rest, even the ones that bathed in the darkness.

Finally, he was able to reach the location that he had pinpointed in his mind. The best location to take advantage of all the chaos that he was about to unleashed.

His plan is simple, get rid of most of the troopers and then take advantage of Armitage having to leave the higher ground's safety. Though in all honesty, Ben is the one that has the higher ground, and even if Armitage was to rush him full Force, he wouldn’t be able to stop him. If Armitage wanted to try to take him out with a sniper shot, even that would not stop him. Ben is sure that if it hit him, he would hurt, but Ben is sure that the Force would warn him if something like that is about to happen.

As it turns out getting rid of the stormtroopers is actually pretty easy, Ben picks them off one by one. He isn’t good at long range situations, so he does have to get close up and personal with them to get rid of them. Part of him feels bad about killing these men, but it is necessary to save the man. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. He is heard Luke say things like this many times, but Ben was not truly sure if that could be applied here.

After all he was killing these troopers to save Armitage who would commit mass genocide if he did not but at the same time. Armitage is just one man, and Luke would rather see him dead then saved. Which one of these two options would actually fall to the words that Luke would preach, killing off Armitage or saving him? They would both complete the goal; did it really matter. In Ben’s mind it did, he needed to save Armitage, and maybe to that point he is the needs of the few and should not matter what he wants.

Ben can tell that Armitage is getting very, very annoyed. His plan is not working and by the time Ben has disposed of the almost half of the squad sent out with him, he can finally feel the nervous energy leaking off him. It is actually comforting, it blocks out the darkness surrounding Ben, trying to push back into him. Trying to turn him, screaming at him to use the power that it knows he has. Just unleash the monster that Ben could become. But Ben will not do that, he will not unleash the power, he will not create the monster that Kylo was, that Kylo is. He is not that man anymore and he is never going back.

It had been strange at first the ability to feel Armitage’s feelings and moods so fully the closer and closer he got to him. The old Armitage, Hux would never allow his feelings to bleed so fully, always taking care to keep everything bottled up. He had been able to create shields in his mind. Not powerful enough that Kylo could not get inside if he really tried, but enough that it blocked his emotions. Kept them under lid.

It was such a welcoming feeling that Ben decided to keep tabs on Armitage’s feelings. There was really no reason to and then again there was not any reason not to. If it kept him grounded, then maybe it would be a good thing. Ben would know when he is about to do something rash with an upside to feeling and sensing Armitage's feelings. Like say, putting himself into a dangerous situation because everything is going to wrong. Find a stressor and then hit it with a hammer over and over again until Armitage broke.

Armitage is finally down to four troopers, and there is not much that Armitage can do about it. Having them picked off one by one has started to get to him, and he will make a mistake. Ben only feels a little bad about pushing this pressure point to the max. Pressing on it until he knows that Armitage makes that mistake, coming out of his hiding spot and facing Ben. Not that he knows that Ben is around or makes a mistake that would get him killed in normal circumstances. The boy himself was not really built for combat, he was built to lead people, and create things. Armitage has the mind of an engineer; Ben isn’t sure why he would go into leadership. When his mind is better met for creating things, he did have a beautiful mind to command a ship.

Ben kept his position hidden as several troopers moved past him. He would need them to inform the proctors, those that would report back that Armitage died in the ‘line of duty’ or a test meant to see if he would even make a good commander. His final exam in a way, like how the Jedi would send their younglings to create their sabers. In a way these two things where the same, and that was somewhat of a sickening thought.

Ben had already decided that he would change the troopers' memories to look like he had died there in the sand dust and rocks. They would not find a body, but that would not matter. Ben and Poe, along with Armitage would be off the planet by realizing that Ben had messed with the troopers' memories.

The idea of making it seem like Armitage died almost the same way that he had in the old timeline came to Ben with a surprise. He had of course heard how it had happened, a shot to the leg by Finn and then Pryde had blown him away, shooting him in the stomach. A wound that there was no way to recover from. He would have to change it up a bit. Instead of dying from a blaster bolt maybe he could die from a knife or blade of some sort. It would not be exactly the same, but Ben figured that it would be believable enough.

The only issue now was getting close enough to Armitage, though the boy had put himself in danger he still kept a cautious eye on his surroundings. Ben did the only thing that he could think of, he hid near the object that Armitage was supposed to retrieve. Ben did not quite know what it was, but it looked to be some kind or crystal or maybe a relic. He doesn’t really care though; the item isn’t his goal Armitage is.

Armitage approached the place that the item was hidden slowly and with quite a bit of causes, his gun held high and pointed in the direction that he moved towards. The Stormtroopers flanked him as he moved, they covered his back, so they didn’t see Ben when he leapt into action. It was quick, a flicker of movement and Armitage collapsed onto the ground. He had not even known what hit him. Ben made sure that the other did not hit his head as he went down before moving over to him. The troopers turned just as the right time to see Ben kneeling over Armitage.

Ben’s eyes flicked up just as they were about to shoot, and they froze. He had forgotten how easy it was to control the minds of others. The thrill that it gave him, like nothing would be able to stop him. Ben shook his head, that was not what he needed to do. He needed the troopers to believe that Armitage had been killed. He took a deep breath as he probed their minds gently changing the event that happened to fit a better narrative, one that would allow Poe and him to escape with Armitage in toe.

_Cadet Hux approached the box with a sluggish sort of caution. His left upper thigh bleeds sluggishly coating his pants leg. He is not quite so injured that it is hard for him to move, but there is a definite limp. The troopers follow him, keeping an eye out for their foe. There had been several troopers that had been picked off already. They had not seen the ambush coming. Cadet Hus had gotten them out of the mess though, but at the sake of his leg._

_He was dead set on getting the item, he would pass this test if it were the last thing he did. Finally, they had made it to the location of the item. A box that sat buried in the rocks looked out of place, almost like a trap. Cadet Hux was not thinking as he pulled the box open. He just wanted to get this over with, to pass this test and prove everyone wrong._

_He did not have a chance to dodge the blast that spewed from the box. It hit him in the stomach and chest throwing him back across the rocks. He hit a boulder with a sickening thud. His body lying lifeless on the ground. As the troopers moved to collect his body, to bring it back the rocks began to crumble, and Cadet Hux’s body disappeared into the abys. There was nothing left to collect, the mission was over. The cadet had died in the line of duty. With caution the troopers made their way back to the base of operation._

Once he was comfortable with the story that he had woven in their minds he muttered softly, “Go now, report back what you have seen.”

“We will report back what we have seen, Cadet Hux died in the line of fire.”

Ben closes his eyes, though this is what he wants it is still hard to swallow hearing. After they have turned, and left Ben gently picks the sleeping boy up. He had not wanted to do much if any damage to the other, so instead of attacking him, he forced the other to sleep. Giving Armitage dreams that did not lead to darkness. Maybe he would wake up with a different point of view, Ben doubted it, but it was a nice fantasy.

As Ben turned to leave, holding Armitage bridal style he felt a pull in the Force telling him that there was something that he needed to collect to bring with him. Ben tried to pull away from it at first by the Force kept nagging him. He did not want to disturb the grounds of a mass grave site more than he has already. Yet he was being drawn to something and he knows that he must follow it no matter what. Ben does that, it leads him to something reflecting the light, dancing in his vision.

Ben hummed softly before concentrating on the object to pull it forth from the ground and over to him. He was surprised by what he found. A light saber, it looked to be incredibly old and the hilt was slightly damaged. He doubted that it would turn on if he tried. His mind raced, could this be the reason that the darkness loomed so thickly over the whole planet. The death of so many force users in one place. Had a great war or Sith and Jedi happened here, he didn’t think so, but he couldn’t be sure. It did not matter he supposed, if the Kyber crystal was still intact in the hilt he could use it to power his own saber. The Force had in a way given him a gift.

As he carried Armitage back to the escape point, he found more sabers strung about, ones that he hadn’t noticed before. He gathered them all up, they all seemed to be in a bit of disarray. This place was old, he decided and the sabers he has found just as old. There was a chance that none of the Kyber crystals that he found would be in any condition that he would be able to use but he would have to try. Ben collects all of the ones that he finds and stores them in the bag he brought with him. By the time he returned to Poe he had twenty different ones, all in different styles and disrepair.

* * *

Ben had been right Poe was the right choice to get them off the plant and away from the desolate place. Ben had been so relieved when they cleared the atmosphere, the pain and death that followed him around lessened more and more the further that they got away from the planet. Once they are far enough away and sure that they have not been followed the drop out of hyper space. There was still a lot that they needed to do.

Ben needed to figure out where Finn is located and come up with a plan to get him. Really, he wasn’t quite sure if he would be able to do that. They also had to deal with a very distressed Armitage. Or well, he wasn’t quite distressed, infant once he awoke, he started screaming and tried to kill not only Ben but also Poe. It didn’t take, Ben could easily overpower Armitage without the Force to aiding him.

Armitage struggles and fight, spitting threats, it did not faze Ben any until Armitage started to attack him personally. Though Ben should expect it, but the words cut into him and he does not take the attack well.

“You are a filthy beast; the First Order is a perfect show of Peace. Unlike you, a rabid cur.”

“Excuse me?”

Armitage smirked, “You heard me, you are a rabid cur. Nothing more than a dog on a leash, so who holds it. The Republic?”

Ben narrowed his eyes sharply, “No one holds my leash, but you I think the Order holds yours. So loyal, a loyal little bitch.”

Ben knows that he should not say something like that. Provoke the boy that he is trying to convert. To save from the darkness that sits inside of him. Armitage isn’t going to just join them, Ben knows this, but it still angers him. The words that he had heard so often. Kylo was the hound, Snokes loyal guard dog, and in a way a rabid cur. Though it is usually Armitage being called it by Snoke it did not make him feel better. Was this really how Armitage felt about him. Ben wasn’t sure why, but he felt like he was being rejected. A stone dropped in his stomach he wants to scream at Armitage, maybe even smack him. But Ben does not he controls himself.

Armitage is tied up so there is no worry that he is going anywhere any time soon. It also meant that he will not contact anyone, not that Ben is worried that they are looking for him.

“No one is looking for you Armitage, you are dead I made sure of it.”

Armitage cannot help but flinch at Ben’s words, there had been a sting when Ben had called him a bitch. His own father had even called him it once, _a weak little bitch just like your mother. I would have left you to die if it were not for the fact that you are my only heir. But if you think you will stay a weak little bitch, well I have got news for you. I will beat it out of you if I have to._ But when the Ben had called him by his first name, he realized that he might be in more trouble than he realized.

No one called him Armitage not even his own father, instead it was bitch or boy. When he’d joined the academy, he’d been called cadet Hux. His last name became his identity, he was and is Hux. Armitage is not Armitage at all, yet Ben seemed to believe that this is who he is.

“My name isn’t Armitage it’s Hux.”

Ben smirks before moving away leaving Hux tied up in the gally, as he is exiting, he calls back over his shoulder, “You keep telling yourself that Armitage.”

There is a bit of silence before Armitage hears another voice that he believes is the Pilot. “Really Ben, antagonizing him isn’t going to bring him over to our side.”

“Meh, he started it and I’m a little pissed. He is lucky I did not slap him. Fuck that, I am not a dog, nor a rabid cur.”

“Calling him a bitch is any better.”

“Yes, because he is one and he knows it. He allows other so control him and make his choices. He believes in a false reality because he thinks it will give him what he wants.”

Poe shakes his head, “And what do you think that is?”

“Respect, in a way that is what he got, but at what cost. His beautiful and brilliant mind. Poe he is a genius and what does he do, he throws it away. Why I don’t know but what I do know is that if he’d been spared maybe he’d done something other than create a weapon of mass destruction.”

“You might be right but calling him names isn’t going to help at all. Ben you know this, I know you know this.”

“Yeah, just feels good in the moment. I will apologize when I have calmed down. Right now, I need to find Finn.”

Poe nods his head in understanding, “Ben, I just wanted to say… I forgive you. I trust you; you have showed me nothing but love. I believe you and all that you have shown me, told me… I realize now that you are not Kylo. You are my friend Ben, and I should have realized it sooner. I’m sorry.”

Ben shakes his head, “Poe, you have nothing to apologize for. I understand the pain that I caused you, but I couldn’t keep that info from you anymore.”

Ben turns to walk down to his room, “And Poe, thank you. Thank you for standing with me, for being my friend and forgiving me.”

* * *

Ben decides that the next step will be finding Finn, and it was not all that hard to find out where he is being stationed. The problem would be getting him, and it was not like they could rely on Armitage to help him. The boy had not been any help at all. He has already tried multiple times to escape, but Poe has been able to get him tied back up.

It became notable that Ben shouldn’t be the one to tie the boy up after the first time that he got loose, and Ben practically threw him into the chair. Claiming that if he tried again, he was going to tie him to the bed. Not lying down on it, but to the bulk over head with his legs spread. Pretty much making it practically impossible to get lose. Poe had sputtered and Armitage had turned bright red. Poe decided form then on out, he would be the one to do the tying up. Praying that he got to Armitage first. So far, he’d been able to achieve this.

After that Ben decided to stay away from him as well, what good would it really do for him, after all Ben still did not know any way to make it so that Armitage would see it their way. And as Poe has pointed out, riling the boy up was not helping. Still, it got on Ben’s nerves and he isn’t sure why it did so much. Poe had said it might be that Ben ‘Loved’ him, but Ben did not think that. There was no way that Armitage was his soul mate, that just did not make sense, after all he would have felt that connection with him if was.

Poe just rolled his eyes asking, “How would you know if there was a connection that you would feel. You didn’t meet your Soul Mate in your past life, did you?”

“No… I didn’t.”

“Then by that statement you have no idea how it would feel.”

“Mom always said that there was this electrical sizzle that she felt when she first met and touched my dad. I guess that, that was what I am supposed to be looking for.”

Poe nods his head in understanding, he had also been taught this. “Ben, soul marks change, and if the mark isn’t in its final form then you aren’t going to feel that connection. For all you know Armitage’s mark isn’t in his final form.”

“And how would we know if it is? Are you suggesting I strip him and check?”

Poe chokes on air, “No, fuck Ben you can’t just strip the poor boy.”

Ben raises an eyebrow at him as Poe turns pink and smirks at him. He did not have any plans of taking the other boys clothing off he was just interested in what Poe would say. “Don’t worry I’m not going to strip him. After all I’m fairly sure that he isn’t even my mate.”

“What if he is though?”

“Mine to Love and Protect?”

“Yes,” Poe says softly, “you have been drawn to him yes? Then maybe this is why. Ben, this has to be why.”

Ben shakes his head, “Maybe, but we don’t have time for that now. We need to find Finn and then get out of here. There is so much that is still left that we need to do.”

* * *

Poe decides that if they are going to go after Finn, Ben should be at his absolute best, which means he will need his saber. They did not know what they would have to go up against, but Armitage was still very tight-lipped. So, they would need the most advantages that they can get. Ben is sure that just the use of Force around Finn with awaken him, Poe is not sure that it will be that easy.

Still the treasure trove of old Sith lightsabers had been a great find, even if he felt in some way that he is stealing from the dead. They would be put to good use, or well the crystals inside of them would be at least. The rest of the parts could be traded as scraps for money or food. He really did not care. The crystals inside is the only thing that he cares about.

There is not enough room in the living quarters for him to dismantle all the sabers he picked up so instead he dumps them all on the table in the galley. Armitage is still tied to a chair and he sneers at him when Ben comes in. Ben ignores him, he is not quite ready to speak to him just yet. Their little fight from earlier still sits in him mind. The words said still sting and bite at him. So instead, he just sits at the table across from him and begins the process of sorting through the sabers.

Armitage sits quietly and watches him; he is confused by what his captor is doing but does not want to ask. His pride will not allow him to show any weakness, and him not knowing what is going on is a weakness in his mind.

Once Ben has all the sabers sorted in what he believes will bring him the worst to best results he begins the dismantle. He closes his eyes and focuses on the saber right in front of him. He feels the mechanisms through the force.

The saber floats up from the table and hovers in front of Ben, but he doesn’t open his eyes. The saber starts to disassemble itself in midair. Armitage cannot help but take in a sharp breath at the sight before him. He had heard of people who could lift things with their minds, and only their minds, but he thought it was a myth. Now, in front of him he sees that something is happening even if he cannot wrap his mind around it.

Ben’s body relaxes as he disassembles the sabers one by one. He places the metal scraps in one pile and the crystals in another. He can feel how some are fragile and even falling to dust, but that does not matter. What matters is that he gets them all out so that he knows what he is working with. It takes him about a half an hour to get them all disassembled and Armitage watches in a sort of strange fascination. A lump sits in his gut that makes him uncomfortable as more and more crystals are revealed.

His heart beats even faster when Ben has the last saber open. He doesn’t know why; something feels like this is important and he is witnessing something that he shouldn’t. Or that is personal, something is being shared with him that means more to him than he understands. But Ben does not say anything or seems concerned that he is there.

Once all the sabers are open and the crystals are pulled out, Ben opens his eyes. He takes in the way that Armitage is sitting tensely, far more than when Ben had come in. Ben shakes his head, why does he even care what the other is feeling. The boy was a little brat, and though taking away from the order is the right thing to do, it is still hard to sit and listen to the boy bitch. He thinks that the Order is something good, it is not Ben will just have to show him that.

All the crystals are in different stages of disrepair. Ben lifted them all in the air one by one looking at the crystals. He is not quite sure what he is going to do He should try separating the bigger ones, but Ben is not sure if that is a good idea. Sith crystals can be extremely dangerous and erratic. There is a chance that they could explode if he is not careful, something that he found out when Kylo created his crystal.

Something hummed in the air though, the Force seemed to be talking to him. Telling him to do something so Ben took a deep breath and let the Force flow through him. He closed his eyes once more. The Crystals all began to float they formed a circle and began to spin around and around. They got faster and faster.

Ben heard Armitage take in a sharp breath and could feel a slight bit of distress coming from him as the air in the room picked up. Ben sharpened his voice to that of a command, “Close your eyes.”

After the words leave his mouth Ben feels a sharp turn in the Force. Armitage cannot help but follow Ben’s command and as he does a bright light flashes through the room behind his eyes. It feels like the air is being sucked out of them. Ben even thinks he feels an explosion in the Force, and then nothing just a calmness telling him it is safe to open his eyes.

“You can open your eyes now.”

Hovering in the air before the both of them is a clear crystal. It is long full; Ben could feel it vibrating with force energy and even purity. It felt strong, like an unmovable force, something that would not be broken. But most of all he felt the deep connection to it.

Ben had created his own crystal by combining all the old Sith crystals and purifying them. He wondered if he were to go back and collect even more of the sabers if he would be able to make another one and even re grow a kyber crystal from it. Rebuild the world before everything turned so dark and evil. Before Vader destroyed all of the kyber mines.

He is pulled out of his musing when he feels a flood of distress flow into him. His eyes snap to Armitage. The boy is sitting in the chair hyperventilating. He is breathing is coming in fast and hard while tears slip down his face. He rubs his arms against the sides of the chair as if he is trying to scrap the skin off them.

Ben reaches for him to try and calm him only for Armitage to jerk back, “Don’t touch me.”

Ben stops and frowns what could be going on, “You are in pain, let me help you.”

“No,” it is a sharp cry and Armitage tries to swallow down a scream. His forearm feels like it’s on fire, he can feel his soul mark changing burning into his skin, taking a different shape. His whole arm felt like it was on fire, the blood in his veins burned in a way that he couldn’t describe, and it was only getting worse. The tears that flooded down his cheeks burned as well and everything seemed to dull and fall out of focus, he did not hear Ben calling for Poe or the feeling of the ropes being removed from this arms and legs. He’d started to see black spots and then darkness overtook him as his body gave up and he passed out.

“What the Fuck just happened?”

Ben shook his head, “I don’t know. He was fine then he just, Poe, is in so much pain, but he doesn’t want me to touch him. I could take some of the pain away.”

Poe swallowed, “How?” He was nervous, Armitage was shaking, and there were still tears falling down his cheeks and once the boy lost conscious, he lost the ability to stop the screams from leaving his mouth. It is terrifying to watch.

“I can take the pain and transfer it to myself. I’ll have to touch him though.”

“Do it!’

“Poe, I…”

“Ben, fucking does it. Transfer the pain, give it to me if you have to just take it away. Fuck!”

Ben nods his head before reaching out, he places his fingers against Armitage’s forehead and then takes a deep breath. He concentrates on the pain feels it flowing, once he’s got ahold of its Ben changes the flow to himself. It is almost instantaneous the feeling of the burning in his arm.

Snoke had punished him by making all his nerves ignite like they were on fire, burning and itching. This felt similar to that, it was not as bad he supposes but this is only a slight bit of pain that Armitage is feeling. He increases the flow, and his arm burns hotter and hotter. But he does not stop until Armitage stops screaming and his body stops convulsing.

Ben only has a moment to mumble, “Fuck,” before he drops his hand from Armitage’s forehead and promptly passes out.

* * *

Poe isn’t sure what was scarier, hearing Armitage scream like he was being burned alive or watching Ben collapse and then not awaken. Armitage had stopped screaming, and even stopped thrashing around. In fact, several minutes after Ben had passed out Armitage had woken up. He had promptly freaked out and shoved himself away from Ben and Poe. His eyes wide and fearful, but Poe could care less about him right now. His mind was focusing on Ben, he was breathing but barely.

“What happened?”

Poe shakes his head, “I could be asking you the same thing.”

Armitage sputtered, “He was making this thing and then I just felt like I was on fire… My soul mark, I think it changed.”

Poe frowns, “Has it ever hurt that much before?”

Armitage doesn’t know why he is telling Poe this info, but he shakes his head, “No… it’s always hurt but not like this. There was so much pain.”

“Why didn’t you want Ben to touch you?”

“He kidnapped me. Why would I want that dog to touch me?”

Poe lets out a growl, “There is no need for nasty names. You should be grateful; he could have left you to wither in pain, but he didn’t.”

Armitage shook his head as he clutches his arm to his chest, “I will not be grateful.”

“Wow you really are a little bitch, aren’t you? I never thought I would agree with Ben’s terminology of you.”

Armitage doesn’t rise to the bait; in fact, it seems that he only seems to be trying to bate Ben. This bit of information is interesting but not relevant at this point. He stores it away for another time and goes about gathering up Ben in his arms. He notes there is a purified crystal sitting on the floor. It must have fallen when Ben passed out.

“Grab the crystal and follow me.”

Armitage glares at him, “I am not touching that thing. It is what caused this mess in the first place. Probably going to kill me.”

Poe rolls his eyes, “The Kyber crystal isn’t going to kill you, Now get off your ass and pick it up.”

“If I don’t,” Armitage asks snidely.

“I will tell Ben that he needs to spank you for being an insolent little brat. Now, pick the crystal up _cadet_ and follow me. Now!”

Armitage squirms for a second before doing as he is told. Something about Poe’s threat seems genuine and that both intrigues him and scares him. He has been spanked before, back in the academy if a student does something deserving of a punishment then they receive one. He wonders how Poe would know such a thing, that it would work. Though why did not he threaten to do it himself.

Once he has gotten a move on it, Poe has found a way to get Ben up and is practically dragging him down to the living spaces. He deposits him on the bed before turning back to Armitage. “You are going to sit here with him until he wakes up. Do not even think of trying to get ahold of the Order. Ben wasn’t joking when he said that everyone thinks you are dead.”

“Even if I was to believe you, what makes you think that this info would stop me from trying to get ahold of them and away from you.” Armitage gestured to Ben, “From him.”

Poe’s smile is dark, “Oh trust me, I’d like to see you try. Ben maybe unconscious, that does not mean he will not be able to tell what you are doing. Just sit there and hold the damn crystal.”

Armitage scowls but does as he is told. He needs these two idiots to trust him, that way he will be able to escape easier. If they left him to his own devices, then he could contact someone to free him. There is no way that he was dead to all of the order. Why would they even believe this info, there obviously had not been a body.

* * *

Ben does not wake up immediately and Armitage is left to admire him, not even from afar. If he so choses he could touch the man, even try to throttle him in his sleep. Once Ben is out of the way it would be easy to get rid of Poe, the pilot. He is sure that he could just sneak up behind him and knock him out. Ben was the biggest threat and the stupid pilot had just left him unattended.

Really, it’s his fault that Armitage even tries this. He is annoyed and it been hours by his clock. So, he crawls onto the bed and straddles the other. He takes deep breath; he’d never done this before. Killed someone yes, but so up and personally no. Armitage takes a second to settle himself before he places his hands around Ben’s neck. He begins to press his hands together and his thumbs down when he feels Bens hands steady his hips.

“You are going to have to press harder than that if you are trying to kill me.”

Ben’s eyes open and there is a hint of amusement in them, as if he did not think that Armitage could not kill him. Would not have the balls. Armitage will show him. Ben’s not tried to stop him, maybe he is still weak, so he presses harder. Ben just smiles at him wider.

“Still not doing much. Honestly did not realize you were this week. Then again you aren’t built for hand-to-hand combat.”

His words come out a little labored, but he doesn’t seem all that bothered it annoys Armitage to no end.

“I am obviously strong enough to keep you pinned.”

Ben just chuckles and squeezes Armitage’s hips lightly, “If I wanted to get up you wouldn’t be able to stop me. You know this, that is why you decided to try to kill me while I was asleep. Can’t say this isn’t the first time you’ve tried this.”

Armitage decides to ignore the part about him trying to kill Ben before, he does not remember doing this and does not want that to distract him. Instead, he focuses on the other part about him not being able to kill Ben.

“I could kill you if I wanted, it just seemed easier to do it while you were asleep. I didn’t expect you to awaken.”

Ben lets out a laugh, “Prove it. Press harder, give me your all. Try it.”

Armitage scowls but does as he is told; he doesn’t know why. Ben is obviously gloating him on and he knows that Ben could stop this at any point. He could flip them or just sit up. As he is pressing down as hard as he can he hears a sigh from the doorway. He does not want to see who it is, he knows exactly who is behind him. He waits to be pulled off, but it doesn’t happen.

“Ben why are you goading him.”

Ben is a little breathless as he speaks. Armitage could cut off more air he knew the right places to press but he does not. “It amuses me,” It also helps that he is suddenly using the force to stop Armitage from pressing down to hard.

“Well stop it, we are almost there. You’ll need to get down to the surface and get our last crew member, before heading off to do whatever else needs to be done.”

Ben nods his head a little before moving his hands to Armitage’s he pulls them off him and watches as Armitage slumps against him a frown on his face. He seems more annoyed with himself than with Ben stopping him. Ben smirks and breaths against his ear whispering, “If you are a good boy, I’ll let you try again.”

Armitage flushes as the words wash over him, they give him an electric shock that makes his cock twitch. That makes him flush even more and try to squirm away from Ben. It does not help with the arousal that he is starting to feel. He wonders if Ben can tell, how his words have affected him. He does not know, and he doesn’t want to know. Ben thankfully allows him to get up.

“You going to behave if we leave you untied,” Ben asks in amusement, he can feel the arousal pouring out of Armitage. He has no plan to say anything about it, to further embarrass the boy. Armitage nods his head, something about the whole situation has short circuited him. A huge part of him wants to make Ben proud by doing as the other has asked of him. He does not know why but he cannot fight it.

Ben smiles at him and squeezes his arm, “good stay here.”

* * *

Ben sneaks into the compound that Finn that is located at. From what he could find out Finn is being taught by Phasma. He honestly does not want to run into this woman. He does not think that he can change her destiny and he does not want to try. So, he isn’t going to.

Once he gets in, he takes out one of the troopers taking his uniform. It is a little bit uncomfortable as he does not quite fit in it. Ben does not think that it will be much of a problem though, he does not plan to be in it for that long. He is smart to check the designation of who he just stole in case he is called. His _“new”_ designation is FN-2183. Ben is extremely impressed with the whole set up and is not sure if he wants to steal the helmet or not.

He moves through the compound keeping out for FN-2187. He runs into several other troopers but not the one that he is looking for. It is annoying and frustrating, but Ben keeps it up. He moves around carefully and keeps in mind that he does not have a lot of time to get the trooper away from the others. Finally, Ben finds Finn. He is alone and Ben is incredibly grateful about that.

FN-2187 looks up from what he is doing to find Ben looking at him. He stops for a second tilting his head in a very un-stormtrooper way. Ben thinks that Finn had always been in there just waiting to be released. When he finally speaks Ben almost doubles over laughing.

“Aren’t you a bit tall to be a Storm Trooper?”

Ben yanks off his mask, “Yep, but I found what I was looking for, so it doesn’t matter.”

Just as FN-2187 is about to answer Ben rises his hand and puts the boy to sleep like he had done to Armitage. He reaches out to catch him before he hits the ground. Then Ben yanks off all of their armor. It would only weight them down and he does not have time for that. He can feel the time burning a hole in his pocket. He does not know if Armitage will do something stupid and try to leave the ship, and he cannot risk it.

It is a bit harder to carry Finn out of the station, but he manages it, manages to not run into anyone else. If he does, he just uses a slight mind trick to make it seem that he was never there. When he finally gets back to their ship Poe is antsy.

“We need to leave; I’ve got a bad feeling.”

Ben nods his head, “Get us out of here then. I have got what we came for. Is Armitage still here?”

Poe hums, “he hasn’t left the room you left him in. It is very surprising actually. What did you say to him?”

Ben chuckles, “I’ll let you know latter.”

Poe gets them in the air taking off away from the station and the planet as Ben carries the other to the room Armitage is in. He lies the boy down in the bed, then turns to look at Armitage. He is sitting in a chair. He is messing with a data pad, but Ben can tell he is not sending out a signal.

“They really did pronounce me dead. There wasn’t even a body for them to investigate.”

His voice is timid, he seems sad, as if he thought he was worth more the Order than he really was.

Ben frowns, “Yes Armitage, I made sure of that.”

Armitage turns his head away from Ben, “I had friends there.”

Ben can sense the lie in his words but does not call him out on it. Instead, he takes the data pad away, Armitage lets it go willingly. It is slipping from his fingers as his hands drops to his lap. Ben looks at the boy and shakes his head.

“Come on, let’s go. You must be hungry.”

Armitage nods his head, he feels defeated. Ben watches as he rubs his arm, fingers digging into the covered flesh every now and then. Ben cannot help but reach out and grasp his hand, a surge of protectiveness taking over him.

“Stop,” it is said so softly that it is almost a whisper.

Ben takes Armitage’s hand and pulls it away from his arm. At first Armitage does not fight him, but then he seems to get a sense of himself. He pulls his hand out of Ben’s hand and growls, “You aren’t my soul mate. Do not fucking touch me. I do not need you. You took me away from my home.”

Ben looks at him sadly, “You never found your soul mate. The order even discourages it.” Ben looks away from Armitage a far off look in his eyes, “You were so set on being the best that you pushed away anything than could be seen as weak.”

Armitage growls, “You don’t know me. You know nothing about me.”

Ben wants to argue to tell Armitage that he knows him a lot about him. Yet the other words ring true. He does not know anything about this version of Armitage, the one that is still vulnerable. Ben shakes his head.

“You are right, come let’s get you something to eat.”

Armitage follows him, but he goes back to gripping his arm again. Ben wants to growl to shake the boy. He is hurting himself for no reason, but he can’t bring himself to do it again. So, he leave it for the moment. Armitage is vulnerable but he is still a pet Tsaisi. He is deadly and sharp, his tongue spits fire and he know when to strike.

* * *

Ben leaves Armitage in the in the gally. He feels a need to put the crystal in his saber, that something is coming and that he needs to be prepared. As he enters his room, he finds that FN-1287 is awake. The looks very confused and startles at the entrance of Ben.

“I am glad that you are awake. I’m sorry for having to knock you out, but I didn’t see there being any other way.”

“Why am I here?”

Ben complicates this for a second, “Destiny, I suppose that isn’t really a good answer. I guess the real reason is because I needed to save you. To give you the life that you deserve. To allow you to have a soul mate.”

FN-1287 blinks at him, “Storm troopers don’t have soul mates.”

“I know that, the thing is, you do have one. I will show you who in a bit. For now, lie down, rest.”

FN-2187 shakes his head, “I have to get back to my unit. I will be considered a deserter.”

“I kinda kidnapped you, you’ll be fine. Please rest, I don’t want to have to knock you out again.”

FN-1287 shakes his head even harder and begins to get up only for him to drop back down onto the bed. Ben sighs, he knew that it couldn’t have been that easy, but he still wishes that it was. Instead of dwelling on Ben gathers up his saber and the crystal that Armitage had left on the bedside table.

He pulls apart the shell of his weapon gently before inserting the crystal and then closing it back up. He feels the power in the saber and how complete it is. He feels complete, full of power and comfortable with where he stands. Ben attaches it to his belt before heading to the cock pit to join Poe. He passes Armitage in the gally and notes that he is just sitting in the room quietly. Ben is not sure if Armitage will try something but that is just a risk that they will have to take.

They cannot keep him tied up forever, it will not do them any good and he will just continue to fight them.

* * *

There isn’t much going on in the cock pit, but Ben still slips down into the copilots seat. He watches as Poe guides them around. It is too soon to enter hyper space, Poe fearing that they will alert the First Order. Ben is in agreeance, they need to be extra careful with having two First Order soldiers in their hull.

“Where is Armitage?”

“He’s in the gally, and Finn is in the sleeping quarters. I have to nock him back out.”

Poe nods his head, “Where to after this. Back to your mom?”

Ben shakes his head, “No we need to go one more place. I promised I would try and save one more person. Some one who is like me.”

“Are you sure?”

“if I got a second chance they deserve one too. I can’t just abandon her knowing that she could be in trouble.”

“Ben,” Poe starts out slowly, “You talked about finding your soul mate, is this person that. The one that you love and protect.”

“I… no.”

“What about Armitage? He seems to bother you so much, and when you told him to stay he did. It seems odd that he’d just listen to you.”

Ben looks down at his hands, “I’ve thought about it, that he might be mine. I know that I must protect him, and I feel something that I think is love for him. But I cannot be sure, there is no way to know. When I was Kylo I did not have a soul mark, it scared over.”

“Just promise me you will think about it, ever since you brought him abord you’ve seemed different. Almost like you have been completed. I think that it only happens when you meet your soul mate.”

“Maybe, but if that where the case you would also be different more complete.”

Poe shakes his head, “If what you say is correct then I won’t be complete until FN-2187 becomes Finn. Until then he isn’t really my soul mate is he?”

Ben does not know how to answer that and so they fall into a quiet peace. It was nice to be able to sit and talk to the other. To know that Ben has Poe’s back and vise versa. The peace does not last though as the come across a pirate ship. Poe tries to out fly them, but their little ship is no match for the other ship. When they get pulled into a tractor beam Ben is out of his seat immediately heading to the cargo bay. Armitage noting that something is up follows him. Ben even seems to run into FN-2187.

Poe is also getting a gun and moving to the cargo bay as well. They where not giving up this ship with out a fight.

“What is going on.”

“We are being boarded.”

Armitage almost looks gleeful but Poe just shakes his head, “Not First Order, Pirates.”

Armitage shutters, he is heard roomers about these kinds of men and women. They could easily kill them all. They did not care who you where, First Order or Republic. They wanted your things, but not you. Unless you make a good slave. Armitage knows that he would make one. His red hair is rare, the Pirated would not hesitate one second keeping him alive just to sell him.

“Give me a gun and let me help.”

Poe laughs, “Not going to happen, Ben might be giving you some leeway but I am not trusting you with a gun and he isn’t going to either.”

Armitage groans but still moves with Poe to the back of the ship. The barley make it there before their hall is opened. There are a few pirates and they sneer at them. Ben sneers back.

“Get off our ship.”

One of the Pirates laugh, “oh that’s so cute, you don’t even have a gun.”

Ben does not even blink he just takes a step forward, “Get off before I make you.”

“Big words for such a pathetic little human, What are you? Nothing, you are nothing but that pretty little red head, he’s a looker.”

Ben growls but the man ignores him and keeps talking, “We’ll leave your ship in peace if you give us the little red head.”

Armitage feels the air leave his lungs, would Ben or Poe take that offer. They took him away from the order, which would be a good way to make sure that the Order never got him back.

“You think you are going to take something of mine. Fat chance” As the words leave Bens mouth his saber flies to his hand and he ignites it. He takes a menacing step forward as if he is stalking his prey. The pirates are taken back a little by this. But do not seem to falter, they raise their gun in anticipation to fire.

They do not get a chance Poe shoots one as Ben cuts the arm off one and stabs the other in the stomach. “How many others are on your ship.”

The pirate Ben had cut off arm curses him, Ben gets annoyed and stabs him in the stomach.

“Poe, how attached to this ship are you?”

“Not very, thinking about taking the other one?”

“Yes, get our stuff I’ll take care of the rest of the crew.”

* * *

By the time that Poe has gathered all of the rest of their things Ben had decimated all the other pirates. It is not a pretty sight to see and Poe is glad that they will be getting rid of the bodies. He is only thankful that Ben did not get blood everywhere. His saber cartelizes the wound as it makes it, it is one small mercy.

Ben helps him remove all the bodies throwing them into the smaller ship. Finn seems to be a little dazed but something about him has changed and Poe can feel it. Ben had been right, a serge in the Fore had awoken him. It did not help that seeing all the dead bodies was giving him doubt about who he really should be aligning himself with, even Armitage seemed sick.

Ben didn’t though he seemed content, almost like he needed the out burst. Then again, Poe is sure that Armitage is Ben’s soul mate and thus the threat to him had turned Ben slightly feral. Poe had to be happy about the only thing that the ship was much bigger and could easily jump to hyper space without causing any suspicion.

* * *

Poe could hear Armitage screaming at Ben through the whole ship. He was angry about being considered Ben’s property. There are words of hate spat and curses, all from the angry red head. From what Poe could tell Ben was just taking it. He was not arguing back or even rising to the bate. Poe wondered how hard it would be if he was in Bens position to just sit there and allow his soul mate to yell at him. Poe is very, very sure that is what Armitage is. Even more so when Ben walks out of the room that they had been stiffly, there is a fire in his eyes.

His eyes follow Ben until he rounds the corner. Then he heads to the room where Armitage is. He finds him sitting on the bed very still. He has his sleeve rolled up and he is tracing the lines on it. Poe’s hypotheses that Ben is Armitage’s soul mate is correct and the proof sits in front of him. Armitage has a saber on his arm, the blade is white silver just like Bens. The words shine bright in the light.

As if Armitage senses his presence he turns towards him, Poe watches as the other pulls down the sleeve to his shirt.

“It’s no use I’ve already seen it.”

Armitage glares at him, “I don’t know about your culture but sharing your mark with anyone that isn’t your mate is almost un heard of.”

Poe shrugs his shoulders, “I’ve seen Bens as well.”

“And?”

Poe just rolls his eyes before coming over to sit down next to Armitage. Armitage tries to flee the room but Poe just grabs his arm pulling him back down. He sighs and watches as Armitage begins to try and put up walls to guard himself, almost like he is afraid he will get hurt.

“I think you know, know the truth.”

“And what exactly would that be?”

“That you and Ben are soul mates, I mean come on you act out so much when he is around. Almost like you are testing him. See how far he will go before he punishes you.”

Armitage scowls at him, “I am doing no such thing. We are not soul mates, and even if we were I wouldn’t want him.”

“You most definitely are, you don’t act the way you do around him with me. You push and push, but I also think you are scared of what will happen when he does snap. Ben can see that, he can feel it. The fear that you must leak as you push him.”

Armitage gets up trying to pull himself free. Poe’s eyes harden at it.

“Armitage you know damn well that Ben is your soul mate, that saber on your arm matches Ben is and you fucking know it. So why are you fighting it so much.”

“BECAUSE, IF HE WAS REALLY MY SOUL MATE HE WOULD HAVE SAVED ME YEARS AGO,” Armitage takes a deep breath tears drip down his cheeks, “He wouldn’t have allowed my father to hurt me like he did. How can my soul mate mark say _Mine to Love and Protect_ when they couldn’t even protect me from my father.”

Poe drops his arm and Armitage sags to the ground, like a rag doll being dropped. “Some times your soulmate can’t always get to you in time to stop bad things from happening.”

Armitage shuttered the tears started to fall faster and faster, “Ben would have been 14 when his soul mark came in. At the time, Ben was being trained to be a Jedi. He would not have been able to save you even if he wanted to. He didn’t even know you where his soul mate.”

“How could he have not known, mine is pretty self explanatory.”

Poe lets out a soft laugh, “His is a Vulptices, it’s orange with a white nose and tipped tail. It sits on his hip, and there are even stars that litter up his chest. It is incredibly detailed and beautiful to look at. But I didn’t put two and two together.”

Armitage sniffles, “Then how can you know, not all soul marks match up.”

“He is fiercely protective of you. So much so that he did not show any mercy to the pirates. Even the ones that hadn’t suggested turning you into a sex slave.”

“That means nothing.”

“It means everything, you heard what he said. _Mine_ you knew right then and there the truth of it. I know that you don’t want to accept it, but you are going to have to eventually.”

Armitage shakes his head and curls up into a ball. Poe wants to say more but he knows that it will not help. Before he walks out of the room he gives one more piece of advice, “Talk to him. Do not yell. You do not have to apologize but maybe ask to see his mark. Don’t demand to though.”

Armitage doesn’t nod his head, he doesn’t even seem to move at all. Poe knows that It is a lot to take in. He even has his own issues with his own soul mate that he does not even know how to address. Ben is sure that Finn is not under the Frist Order's control now that it will come naturally. Poe is not all that sure about it.

* * *

Armitage is left alone to his thoughts, they run around in his head over and over again. He doesn’t know what to do and he doesn’t want to really do anything so he finds himself pulling himself into the bed. It does not quite smell like Ben, but Bens blanket is in there. He pulls it up to his face rubbing it into his cheek. He knows why it brings him comfort, but he does not want to accept it. He does not want to accept any of this. Still he drifts off to sleep with it pressed into his face.

_Armitage gasps as lips trace down his collar bone, they are soft and leave goose bumps in their wake. Fingers slide down his body playing with his nipples, and a hand holds his hips down as he bucks up into the sensation. Armitage cannot help hiding his face into the side of his arm, pulling at his arms only to find them stuck above him. There is no give but he can’t feel rope holding him in place._

_The mouth has continued to move down and now, it is hovering over his groin. He’s erect and dripping, he can hear himself begging. Asking for something, what he is not quite sure. He just knows that he wants something to happen._

_Hears a chuckle and then his member is ingulfed into a warm heat. He cannot buck up even though he wants to. He is being held down by the same invisible force that hold his hands above his head. He can feel the others hands playing with his balls and rubbing his hole. He is already wet and the ach is stronger, he feels like he is going to explode._

_Just as he feels himself reaching the finishing line the other pulls off and Armitage lets out a string of curses. Armitage thinks that the other says something but he can’t seem to figure out what it is. It is blurred, the arousal is too strong._

_Armitage feels himself flush though, as if the words that are being said to him should be humiliating, but his cock does not seem to care, in fact it like it. He squirts a little and the chuckle is back. Armitage bites out another moan. He is pleading now, he wants it so bad._

_Slip of the others cock inside of him is so great that Armitage almost cums just from that. But he does not a hand around his cock and a pull on his balls stop him. It is aggravating and frustrating. He does not have to wait long though. The other start a hard and fast pace, he does not even last long. Armitage finds himself losing himself darkness over taking him._

Ben shutters as his mind swims with the unwanted images. Poe looks over to him with concern as Ben’s skin turns a rosy hue.

“Are you okay?”

“Armitage is having a wet dream,” Ben mumbles.

Poe cannot help but let out a laugh, “you can tell he is having a wet dream?”

“He is projecting it to me.”

“What’s it about?”

Ben huffs as he turns a darker red, “I think it’s about me fucking him.”

“Oh and why do you think that?”

“The person fucking him is holding him down with the Force, I could be wrong though.”

Poe lets out a boyish laugh, “Oh Ben that’s hilarious. Have I ever projected my own sex dreams to you.”

Ben’s cheeks deepen a darker red, “Yes.”

* * *

Everyone is in the gally when Armitage wakes up. Poe and Finn are sitting at a table talking, they seems happy. Their heads are dipped together in quiet conversation. Their hands are touching, not quite holding hands but close enough. Ben on the other hand is sitting against the wall, he is sitting with his legs crossed. His hands are folded in his lap and he is floating about a foot above the ground.

Armitage does not quite know what to do with himself as he enters the gally, the air is still and he feels like he might be displacing the peace that has settled, yet no one looks at him. Ben does not even twitch and Poe and Finn do not pull back from each other. Then again he notes, they might not even realize that he is even in the room.

He stands there for several minutes before the stillness is broken. Ben does not open his eyes as he speaks, “You can come in.”

At his voice Poe looks up and towards him. He smiles and motions him towards them. Armitage comes to them sitting at the table, and the silence fall again. He sits and stairs off into space while Finn and Poe go back to talking. He tunes them out instead watching the rise and fall of Ben’s chest. He finds himself slipping into a sort of peaceful mind set.

_An icy grip slips into Armitage’s mind. He feels himself shaking and shivering. He does not quite know why though. Nothing else seems to have changed and then a voice slithers around hissing at him, “You will bring me the Boy or I will kill you.”_

_Ice, fear, and pain shoot up into him. His mind hurts and flashes of darkness and death fill his mind. There is so much pain and darkness surrounding him. He is vaguely aware that someone is screaming and crying though all the pain._

Armitage does not realize that he is the one screaming and crying until he feels Ben’s hands on his cheeks. He does not know what is being said to him but it is soothing. The darkness that had once filled his mind slowly leaks away leaving him shaking and scared. At some point through the whole thing his eyes had slipped closed.

When he opens them again Ben is kneeling in front of him, concern written on his face. He can feel Ben’s presence sitting in front of him and hovering at the edge of his conscience. Armitage also realizes that he can feel both Finn and Poe as well. It’s all just to much and he slams his eyes shut quickly and tries to shove everything away.

“Holy Fuck”

“What… what just happened? Did he just move us across the room with his mind?”

“Yes and No.”

Armitage’s eyes snap open again. Ben is still sitting in front of him, his hands are still on his face but the others Armitage notes aren’t as close as they use to be. Instead both Finn and Poe are a few feet away.

“Armitage you need to clam down, you are going to hurt yourself if you don’t.”

_‘He is going to kill me.”_

“He can’t hurt your Armitage, he isn’t anywhere near you. I am not going to let him kill you. So please calm down. Take deep breaths.”

_‘I’m scared. It hurt so much.’_

Ben pulls Armitage forward towards him, “I know you are. It’s okay, you are going to be okay.”

It takes several more words or reassurance and calming breaths before Armitage was calm enough to even talk about what happened. Ben had not even considered the fact that Palpatine might try something like this.

He could not reach Rey, and a sinking feeling sat within him telling him that Snoke might already have her, but the fact that Palpatine would come after Armitage did not seem right. Could it be that Palpatine realized that Ben had been given a second chance and wanted him? None of that even made any sense, why would it. Ben’s devoted to doing the right thing, which means bringing balance in a way and saving all those lives.

Maybe, the message hadn’t been meant for Armitage but for him, bring Armitage to him or he would kill him… Ben isn’t sure and it doesn’t matter. What matters is getting them all away from the darkness that seems to be creeping up on them. Finn would need to learn how to make shields in his head and so would Armitage it would seem… and then there was Rey's thought.

He could not feel her, he does not know why, but no matter how hard he tries to reach out for her he cannot seem to get to her. It is like she is blocked because she has not awoken yet. Or, and this thought is even worse, she is deliberately being withheld from him. What if Snoke and Palpatine already have her?

* * *

The phantom whispering was not going to stop unless Ben did something about it. Yet he did not even know who the phantom whispering was and why they suddenly started to attack Armitage and then shortly after that Finn. There really was nothing to do but make his way back to his mother and maybe Uncle Luke. He did not want to do it, but the quest that he had first set out on had come to an end, now he needed to make sure that the people he rescued stayed alive.

He has not been able to reach Rey, as if her mind were blocked from him. Hidden away, keeping him away. He could not even seem to locate her through the Force. This unsettled Ben but there was not anything that he could do about that now.

Instead, they headed back, but things don’t always go how one would think they should. Finn and Poe get closer to each other, find out they are soul mates like Ben said they where. He is never seen Poe so happy, and Finn seemed happy, at least when he is not plagued with night terrors. Things with Armitage did not go the same way though.

Poe had felt the need to tell Ben that Armitage is his Soul mate. It was nice to know, he did not need to run around the galaxy looking for him, yet… Armitage still did not want to have anything to do with him. He accepted that they where ‘mates’ but he had pretty much rejected everything else about it. Ben hadn’t know that he could have his soul mate so close and yet not even be able to touch him.

A dark part of him wanted to grab and shake Armitage to take what he wanted from him, but he does not. Ben keeps that dark part of himself and does not act on it, no matter how much he wants to.

* * *

As the years pass the issues with the First Order grow. Things become more and more stressful, though there is a lot different this time around. Finn is a part of the resistance and he and Poe are doing well, they have their ups and downs but nothing has pulled them apart. Ben is happy for them. He and Armitage are the opposite of that.

They do not really take to each other. Armitage isn’t working for the Order, he’s made friends with Leia and feels accomplished as well as useful. He’s respected, in a way that would have never happened if he’d stayed in the Order. Ben is happy for him, even if he can only interact from a distance. They do not talk and Ben keeps his distance.

Armitage had made it perfectly clear that he did not want to have anything to do with him, so Ben gave him that. It frustrated him and hurt but he would not succumb to the darkness built when he saw Armitage with another. Jealousy would do him no good, after all Armitage’s was not his, and Ben could see now that he never would be.

The Force was funny Ben thought, he could save almost everyone and still end up alone. Most people did not want to be around him because he still got angry at times and he was in their words a ticking time bomb. It is almost like they all thought that he was going to turn on them. The old Ben would have, he would have let Kylo take over and kill each and every one of them. But this new Ben just sat in the silence.

He would take his frustration out on a punching bag instead of something that they needed. He spent so much time alone that Ben started to think he was becoming like Luke, and maybe he needed to leave them. Was he really doing any good hanging around, he wasn’t even that much help.

* * *

Armitage is annoyed, he is not a messenger boy. He knows that Leia can send someone else to get Ben for her, but she insisted that it had to be him. That he is one of the only people that Ben would even tolerate. Armitage knows that is a lie, Ben tolerates everyone. It is everyone else that does not seem to want Ben around. Yet fort he past couple of months he has been the one that she has been sending to talk to him. Like she is trying to fix something. There is nothing to fix, they do not have a relationship, Armitage had made sure of that.

He did not really want to have anything to do with Ben, why should he, Ben ruined his life. It did not matter that they where Soul mates, something that only a few people even knew about. Armitage’s is sure that Ben told Leia. It does not matter, he only delivers the message and leaves. He has not ever waited around to see the others reaction.

Every time they are in the same room he feels the need to be near Ben and doesn’t like it. He doesn’t want to be around him, he doesn’t want to have that connection. He has gotten a new life thanks to Ben but that is all. Nothing else.

Still he does as Leia asks because… Leia gave him a chance to prove himself and he likes her. A small part of him screams that he would be her son in law if he would just accept that Ben is his mate. He hushes that part of him. He will not give into it.

Ben lives in the most secluded part of the base, no one usually hangs about, yet it seems busier than normal today. When he makes it to Ben’s quarters he isn’t surprised to find it silent, it usually is. Ben seems to spend most of his days in meditation. Today it is different though, usually there is a warmth coming from Ben’s room, not today it is cold.

His room is empty, and that in of itself strange. Everything is in it’s place, perfectly clean and folded almost sterile like no one had lived there for a weeks. On the bed lie a data pad, it had a light beeping on it informing everyone that there is an un read message.

Armitage does not feel comfortable in the room, it has no life unlike when Ben is there. Yet he cannot help but feel that he needs to open the message waiting for someone to find.

_A small blue version of Ben pops up. He is standing looking to the left, he has a far away look in his eyes. He sighs before he starts talking. “I am sorry to do this to you Mom. I realized that I do not belong here anymore. The force allowed me to come back in time and change things. For the most part I have done well, changed things to make everything better._

_I missed Rey though, could not find her. I still have not found her, but I am not going to stop looking for her. I did save Armitage and Finn though, and I am happy that they are safe and alive. It is funny that Force seems to have a sense of humor. I guess that no matter what life I live I will be destined to be alone.”_

_He finally turns to look at the camera. He looks sad and there might be tears in his eyes. “I am sorry to do this to you this way. You deserve to hear this in person. I know that if I try to tell you that I will leave, you will try to change my mind. You just want me to be happy, and you like having me here. I hate to tell you think Mom but you are the only one._

_I am not wanted by anyone else. I know what you would say, what about Armitage. It is okay I think he will be happier if I am not around. You and Dad are soulmates, and dad is not around all the time. Maybe that is the way it is in our family. He has made it perfectly clear that he doesn’t want me and I have finally accepted that. He was the last thing holding me here._

_I want him to be happy, live a life not worrying if I am going to try and poses him, so… So I have taken a ship and left. I’m sorry to tell you think that I did it in the middle of the night, and I suspect that it will be weeks maybe even a month before you even see this message.”_

_Ben stops again before smiling, “I love you Mom. Please give Finn and Poe by best, and if Armitage will hear it tell him I hope that he has a happy life. Don’t tell him I love him, he won’t want to hear that. But anything else you think he might want to hear. Please do not worry Mom. If I’m needed I’ll come back, you know how to reach me.”_

Armitage almost drops the pad as the message comes to an end. He does not have the sense to figure out when the message was recoded. All he does is tuck it to his chest and make a run for Leia. She’d wanted her sons to opinion on something. She would not be getting that. Instead, she would be getting a message telling her goodbye, and Armitage had listened to it. He had listened to a very private message.

It takes him longer than he would have liked to get to Leia, and Armitage is out of breath when he reaches her. His mind is still running, and his ears are ringing as he hands her the tablet. He cannot even move as she opens the message.

It plays again, and the ringing in his ears begins to get louder and louder. His breath comes out in short, fast bursts, and unbeknown to him, tears start to trickle down his cheeks. Armitage doesn’t know how many times Leia listens to the message. He can’t hear to see anything. The words _‘Don’t tell him I love him, he won’t want to heat that.’_ Continue to repeat over and over again in his head, with the knowledge that Ben left. He is not here anymore. He is finally alone, and he can feel the weight that sits on him with this knowledge.

It is Leia’s hand on his shoulder that pulls him out of his mind. She looks so sad, and it makes Armitage shake. He is the reason Ben left.

“I’m so sorry,” he sputters out. Leia only shakes her head and pulls him into a hug.

“It’s not your fault Armitage, I knew he was planning to leave. I could see it in the way he started to distance himself from me.”

“But it is, he said so. I was the only thing holding him here. If I’d tried, he’d still be here. If I loved him….”

Leia squeezes him harder, “No, Armitage, that isn’t true. You cannot blame yourself for him leaving. He did not feel comfortable here. Maybe if you two were together, he would have held out a little longer … But I doubt it. You can’t blame yourself.”

* * *

It turns out it is hard to blame oneself when there is a war going on. Not a lot of time to think about oneself and their issues. Ben had not been in contact with anyone as far as Armitage knows, and that in of itself hurts. Would they even tell him if they’d talked to him? He had later found out that Poe also got a going-away message. It was only he who did not get one.

Armitage wanted to scowl at that, but he knew there was nothing for him to do about it now. It was not like he could go back in time and change things. The nightmares started to go away after Ben left, and that was nice, but everything was cold now. He felt alone, like he had been abandoned. He really did not have a reason to feel that way. If anything, he had abandoned Ben first. Yet, with everything that has been going on, his soul mark still stayed bright as ever. It shined so pretty like as if there was no way to dull it.

Armitage wondered if his own mark on Ben’s body looked like that, or if over time it had dulled. If his want for a soul mate had drained upon realizing who his soulmate is. Armitage realized almost too late that there was not anything wrong with Ben. He was nice, and he took care of him. He had never pressured him into anything, and that was more than anyone else.

It seemed like Ben cared about him and wanted him to find some semblance of happiness. If that was the case, then he definitely deserved a goodbye message like everyone else got. Once this war was over, Armitage was determined to make sure that Ben realized the mistake he made. But until then, he would have to worry about a rising power in the First Order.

* * *

The Resistance had been able to keep the Order at bay for years, allowing them to do their own thing but not move an inch. They had not allowed them to take over any of the free worlds, so the Order had been forced to go after outer rim planets. It was fine in some ways. As long as they did not try to take over planets that belonged to the New Republic. Yet Armitage could tell that they were getting ready to make their move.

Yet something or someone was holding them back like they were missing a piece of the puzzle. That they could not complete their mission without it. If Ben was with them, he would say they didn’t have their superweapons, which is the missing item. Armitage did not really think that was true. There had to be something else to it. Still, there was the darkness that had arisen in the Order’s ranks and seemed to be causing havoc. They seemed to be on a killing spree, and Armitage could not tell if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

They had all been keeping an eye on it. Luke and his school of Jedi had even been forced to move locations because of this darkness. Luke had said that this darkness is looking for someone or something, and it would kill without remorse to find it. That did not sit well with Armitage, and he hoped and maybe wished that Ben was looking into it, that he will deal with the issue. He hoped that Ben himself is not the issue.

Luke had looked at him strangely when he had voiced his concerns to Leia. The stillness in the room had been deafening. Luke had told him that Ben was not the darkness hunting him. Ben knew exactly where Luke and the other younglings were located. He would not need to hunt people and kill them to find him. When Luke had spoken to him, though, it seemed that he was looking through him, not at him. Like he was seeing someone else there or something thing else.

Still, it worried Armitage, something evil was out there, and Ben wasn’t doing anything about it?

* * *

Seeing Ben again was a shock to his system that Armitage had not been expecting. When Ben left, he didn’t know how he felt first, but soon that numbness had turned into anger and then resentment. Ben had taken him away from everything that he knew and dumped him on a planet with people that resented him. Dumbed him in a place that was new with no one to hold on to. Ben was his only connection, and he had left him behind. Armitage had adapted, but he could not leave the feeling that he is an outsider out of his system.

Then Ben comes back waltzing back onto the planet and with a woman in toe. Someone that seemed to be so close to Ben, she had a connection to him. Armitage could feel it. He hated it, and they want to scream, hit, and punch overwhelmed him. He really could not be blamed for his actions.

Everyone gathered around Ben and the newcomer. The war was finally over again. There was happiness. Poe is slinging his arm around Ben’s shoulder, laughing loudly. The girl is smiling and sticking close to Ben. It is not hard for Armitage to move his way through the commotion, and Ben even turns to look at him. There is a soft smile on his face. He is about to say something when it happens.

The crack from Armitage’s hand connecting with Ben’s cheek is loud as it echoes around the chamber, but the silence that follows is deafening. Suddenly all the attention is now on Armitage. Armitage is shaking, and tears start to form in his eyes, yet the girl is the first to react.

“What the fuck.”

She begins to advance on Armitage, a fit of anger shining in her eyes, but Ben’s hand on her wrist stops her, “Rey, stop.”

Rey turns to Ben, “He slapped you.”

Armitage can feel the connection between the two of them, and it grates at him. It makes him angry and sad. He wants to hurt Ben more, to make him feel the pain that he is feeling. Ben is his soulmate, yet this girl seems to have a stronger connection. Armitage can feel himself shaking, and the tears are sharp against his cheeks. His vision blurs as his pain and anger sharpen. Ben left him alone, Ben found this girl. Ben was his.

He is pulled out of his _tantrum_ by gentle hands cupping his face. Ben’s thumb brushes the stray tears off of his cheeks. He does not look angry, even with the glaring red mark on his cheek. Instead, he looks concerned, a slight frown on his face.

“Armitage, you need to breathe, take deep, calming breaths.”

Armitage did not understand at first and tried to look around, but Ben kept Armitage’s face cupped, keeping him from looking around at anyone else. Ben would take deep breaths to indicated that Armitage needed to mimic him. It took a bit, but Armitage finally did. Once he had calmed down, Ben’s hands slipped down from his face to his shoulders, and Armitage was able to look around.

It seemed that most of the people had cleared off, but those that were still there were looking at him with weary eyes. It made Armitage want to shrink in on himself. He didn’t think that his outburst would make so many people uncomfortable, but then again, maybe he didn’t know these people as well as he’d have liked.

“He’s force sensitive?”

Armitage turns his head towards Rey. She is looking at him with wonder and a slight annoyance. He cannot help but drop his head in shame. Part of him wants to run off, but Ben holds him steady. Hands-on his shoulders, forcing him to stay in place.

“That is correct, so is Finn. Neither of them is trained, though. We can speak more on that later. I am sure you are eager to meet my mother. She would be interested to know of Palpatine’s demise and your conversion to the light. She is also a Jedi Master. I am sure that you will like her more than my Uncle Luke.”

Rey nods her head. She does not seem to fully trust Ben's answer, but she drops it. Ben releases Armitage and moves to walk away to lead Rey to Leia but is stopped by Armitage. They had not seen each other in years. There is so much that they needed to talk about to do, he could not let him leave just yet.

“I need to know if they still match,” Armitage whispers quietly.

Ben blinks for a second before smiling. He kisses the top of Armitage’s head, “They do.”

“I need to see.”

Ben shakes his head, “Tonight, I promise Armitage it still matches.”

* * *

Armitage was not happy with the response but allowed Ben to go. He did not want to wait until the evening to find out if Ben’s mark still looked the same, still said that he was his soul mate. He had done enough waiting, but Ben would not be turned or convinced to move the meeting forward.

Instead, Armitage got the distinct feeling that if he pushed it anymore, he was going to find himself over Ben’s lap. Something that he had not really thought about happening for years now. The war was over, the Frist Order was destroyed. Armitage realizes that if Ben had not come for him, then he would have died with all the others. Who knows what could have happened or would have happened.

For now, there is peace in the Force, a soft silence that slides over the galaxy. Lives saved and history changed, a brighter and happier place to live. There is no way to know what is to come next, only that the Force is always with you.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for all of you're love and support as well as reading. You can always hit me up on my Tumblr; Ggeri Sminth if you would like to chat or see what I might be up too. As always don't forget to Comment and Kudo! Thanks! ^^ 
> 
> The lovely art is done by: Derp-Dragon. She did a wonderful job, please give her some love. <3
> 
> Ggeri <3


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